The supposed psychological thriller “Kalamity” trickles along like kholesterol through a klogged artery.
After a bad breakup with his girlfriend in Ohio, a morose young man named Billy (a bland Nick Stahl of “Terminator 3”) moves back home to Virginia, where his thuggish best friend, Stan (Jonathan Jackson), reels off increasingly misogynistic rants after his own breakup. Even though Stan’s girlfriend has gone missing and Stan is acting angry and strange, no one seems in much of a hurry to find out what happened to her. Instead, Billy keeps having sad imaginary conversations with his ex.
The fuzzily conceived Billy never becomes a real character, while Stan is, from the beginning, a major jerk who never gives any reason to care about his inner torment. Meanwhile, every actor (pause) seems to be under orders (pause) to make every thin line of dialogue (pause) last so long (pause) it’s as if (pause) he’s being paid by the minute. There isn’t enough plot in this amateurish mope-athon to fill up a half-hour TV show.