Measure the toes, initial the tags and clear space in the morgue. The Yankees are nine innings away from self-inflicted baseball death.
And if they go off the air, the scintillating Derek Jeter Contract Watch starts immediately.
Etch A.J. Burnett on the pinstriped tombstone, because he is an easy target. But make sure to include relievers Boone Logan and Joba Chamberlain, a lineup that has gone limp and manager Joe Girardi’s decision to stick with Burnett in the middle of a 10-3 loss to the Rangers in Game 4 of the ALCS last night at Yankee Stadium in front of 49,977.
With a 3-1 advantage, the Rangers are a win away from their first-ever World Series gig. The Yankees are 27 outs from an up-and-down season’s crash landing.
That could happen today in Game 5 at the Stadium, when CC Sabathia attempts to prolong the season against C.J. Wilson in a Game 1 rematch.
In order to advance, the Yankees, who have lost three straight, need to win three in a row. Making that harder is that Cliff Lee, who dominated them Monday night, is ready to hurl Game 7 in Texas.
“The only way to look at it is you have to win a game,” said Jeter, whose contract expires after the season’s final out. “You can’t look at it like you have to win three games.”
The way they have hit, make that not hit, in the past three games — five runs and a combined 6-for-39 (.154) with runners in scoring position — it’s likely the next time the Yankees see Lee will be when he joins them as a free agent this winter.
Josh Hamilton homered off Logan in the seventh and Sergio Mitre in the ninth.
The Yankees will be without Mark Teixeira for the remainder of the playoffs. He strained his right hamstring running to first on a ground ball in the fifth inning and was removed from the game. Teixeira, who was hitless in 14 ALCS at-bats, will be replaced on the roster by infielder Eduard Nunez. That means even if the Yankees escape the ditch they are in, Teixeira won’t be eligible for the World Series.
He didn’t require the MRI exam to know he was through until spring training.
“I could feel it pop, I knew something was wrong,” Teixeira said. “It’s pretty bad.”
For five-plus innings, Burnett gave the Yankees all they realistically could have asked for from the right-hander, who had not pitched since Oct. 2.
Then in the sixth, with the game as well as the ALCS hanging by a thread in the cool October night and Chamberlain ready in the bullpen, Girardi ordered David Murphy walked intentionally and allowed Burnett to face Bengie Molina with two on, two outs and the Yankees leading, 3-2.
Molina buried the Yankees with a three-run homer to left on a first-pitch fastball that gave the Rangers a 5-3 lead.
“We liked the way A.J. was throwing the ball,” Girardi said of his decision to stick with Burnett. “We liked the matchup. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out.”
In six innings, Burnett gave up five runs, six hits and lamented the fastball to Molina.
“It was the only one that leaked over the middle,” Burnett said. “That’s what happens when you don’t execute pitches. One pitch, that’s what it comes down to.”
Hamilton’s homer in the seventh upped the lead to 6-3 off Logan and when Girardi went to replace Logan with Chamberlain he was booed on the way to the mound and back to the dugout. Chamberlain gave up a run on two hits and a walk in the seventh.
Audio: Teixeira: I Knew It Wasn’t Good
Audio: Berkman: I Thought It Was Fair
Audio: Gardner: One Game At A Time
Audio: Jeter: We Can’t Feel Bad For Ourselves
Audio: Burnett: I Came Out And Gave All I Had
Audio: Girardi: AJ Was Throwing The Ball Well
george.king@nypost.com