Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards was jam-packed with performances by some of the biggest names in music right now. But the show was also filled to the rim with disappointments, slip-ups, and generally messy moments. Here were the worst.
The show opened with a whimper
You had Katy Perry, Lorde, Carrie Underwood and Ariana Grande, and you decided to open with Pitbull? Pitbull, rapping a song no one has even heard of?
Shakira needs lip sync lessons
Not even bothering to record a live vocal track, Shakira appeared to sloppily lip sync her way through what sounded to be the straight-off-the-album studio version of her latest single.
Another Kardashian can’t read
Kendall Jenner couldn’t handle the teleprompter, only half-delivering her intro, as well as only saying part of the boy band name “5 Seconds of Summer” directly into the mic. Kim has taught her well.
Mark Cuban should have some writer fired
Poor Mark Cuban was forced to deliver the lamest line of the night: “We just spent $3.2 billion to buy a hot new company called Beatdowns by Solange.” The crowd legit groaned.
Katy Perry wore an awful bodysuit
Katy Perry ~ 2014 Billboard Music Awards by HumanSlinky
The aggressively ugly nude suit was emblazoned with a plethora of tackiness including a smiling balloon distastefully placed over each breast. Oh yeah, she also had green hair.
But then Katy Perry also accepted an award from Scotland
After Perry won the award for top female artist, Josh Groban said she was on tour and a screen appeared from which she delivered a pre-recorded thank-you message, saying that she was in Scotland. This was less than an hour after she performed live at the show. The same thing later happened with Miley Cyrus in reverse order. So, yeah. It was super confusing, but it turns out both of those performances were pre-recorded.
Michael Jackson rose from the dead
Speaking of tacky, a hologram of Michael Jackson performed “Slave to the Rhythm.” The less said about this, the better.
The celebrity with the most screen time was Kelly Rowland
She appeared in advertisements for Chevrolet approximately 93,808 times. This was far too often for anyone to be exposed to budget Beyoncé.
Josh Groban lost a battle he couldn’t win
A shady cameraman cut to the crooner in the audience during Jason Derulo’s performance of “Wiggle.” Groban was forcing a dad-tastic nod along to the urban banger.
John Lennon rolled over in his grave
Miley Cyrus performed “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” No, really, this happened.
Robin Thicke actually performed a song called ‘Get Her Back’
You will recall that Thicke and his wife, Paula Patton, split back in February after eight years of marriage. Allegedly the reason was Thicke’s infidelity. So basically this is just one big awkward ball of sad desperation.
Britney Spears did not perform
Any music show that does not feature a Britney Spears performance is obviously a crime, but it’s especially egregious when the award show is in Las Vegas, where the living legend currently has a residency. Oh, she also was there, in the building. She literally had nothing better to do.
This is made all the worse when you consider that the show promoted a “special appearance” by the artist, which ended up meaning a two-second blip in a package about how great J.Lo is. The world is an unjust place.