Metro

Meet ‘Jersey Shore’s’ newest guidette: Deena Cortese

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She’s unnaturally buxom, spray-tanned, just scraping 5 feet tall, and doesn’t hit the clubs without her signature pouf.

Meet “The Meatball” — Snooki’s doppelganger, Deena Nicole Cortese, 23, the latest guidette to join the cast of “Jersey Shore,” the third season of which premieres Thursday on MTV.

Deena, who calls herself a “party in a body,” was handpicked by her gal pal Snooki to join the cast in their Seaside Heights share-house.

“Snooks and I are two peas in a pod when it comes to partying,” Deena told The Post.

SNOOK’S ‘PLUMP’ FICTION

But Deena might replace her fellow “meatball,” as they lovingly refer to each other, as this season’s breakout star based solely on the sticky catch phrases that spew from her mouth.

“I have my own little vocabulary,” says the South Jersey native who lives at home in New Egypt with her parents and quit her waitressing job last week. “I call girls who are sloppy drunk ‘slop tarts.’ I’ve been a slop tart before. I just talk a different language, and a lot of the cast started picking it up from me.”

Deena, whose parents own a flooring store, was planning a career as a dental assistant when Snooki called. Now she’s adjusting to newfound fame.

“I have fans and the show hasn’t even started,” said Deena, who already has more than 21,000 Twitter followers. “It really hit me when I was at the mall looking completely disgusting and every store I went into people stopped and asked for a picture.”

She owes her overnight stardom to her own over-the-top antics on the season premiere, when she hogs the most airtime for stripping in front of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.

“I was drunk and trying to show off my bathing suit,” she explains of the incident. “I was so drunk I didn’t realize that I took off my bottoms with my skirt. I was mortified.”

As for her parents watching her boozy buffoonery, Deena just shrugs it off.

“They’re supportive,” she said. “They think the show is hysterical. They’re happy I got the experience.”

That’s because the Cortese parents are used to their daughter’s rowdy behavior.

“In high school, I started peaking into the person I am now,” says the former cheerleader. “Me and my two girlfriends, we started dating outside our school, wearing the pouf and coming into our own. We were known as little divas in high school.”

The precocious teen even posted pictures of herself making out with other women on MySpace.

“I’m not a lesbian, but when I get drunk I like to kiss,” she explains. “I guarantee you anyone has those kinds of pictures on their computer.”

Deena waxes philosophical about why the lowbrow reality show has gripped the nation. “People can be like, ‘That reminds me of something me and my friends do.’ It’s just like reality.”

akarni@nypost.com