Michael Starr

Michael Starr

TV

‘Thundermans’ is all flash, no substance

Here’s the kindest way to describe Nickelodeon’s new sitcom, “The Thundermans”: It’s not funny.

I’ll spare the vitriol, since I realize it’s no mean feat getting a show onto the air, and that many people toiled hard on “The Thundermans” — including its creator, Jed Springarn, who’s responsible for several hit shows including “Big Time Rush” and “Jimmy Neutron” and should know better.

But hey, everyone’s entitled to a mistake now and then — and this one’s a whopper.

I realize “The Thundermans” is geared toward tweenage viewers — a demo I left behind in the mid-’70s — but even taking that into account, I would imagine 14-year-olds might find it annoying, and a bit condescending, to be hit over the head, repeatedly, with a grating, hyperactive laugh track and a dumb premise with cloying characters (and actors) trying way too hard to be liked.

The premise here is that the titular Thundermans are trying to blend in and lead a normal life in the town of Hiddenville (I kid you not) while keeping their superpowers under wraps. Dad Hank (Chris Tallman), aka Thunderman, is retired from the superhero business, though how he and his wife Barb (Rosa Blasi) support their brood is anyone’s guess.

Like their parents, the four Thunderman kids — high-school twins Phoebe (Kira Kosarin) and Max (Jack Griffo), kid brother Billy (Diego Velazquez) and younger sister Nora (Addison Riecke) — all have powers far beyond those of mortal men (and women). But they’re instructed by mom and dad to keep their gifts under wraps, lest the “non-supes” (aka normal folk) discover their secret.

There are lots of cheesy special effects and enough flashing lights and noises here to make you think you’re trapped inside a pinball machine. And let’s not forget the talking rabbit, Dr. Colosso, who looks like he hopped away from one of Disney’s animatronic exhibits.

’Nuf said.