Entertainment

What Leno should say to NBC

if Jay Leno were a Jewish (or Italian) mother, he’d know how to handle NBC. He wouldn’t use his scathing nightly monologues or his worldwide reach to cut them down for trying to cut him out.

He’d use something much more deadly. He’d use that sentence — the one that has felled millions of mighty men and women — the deadly bullet of guilt.

Repeat after me: “That’s the thanks I get for giving you the best 21 years of my life and making you so (pick one) rich/happy?”

For 21 years, Leno has made NBC bazillions by delivering almost consistently the top-rated show in late night.

For 21 years, he has been the best son any network could want.

When NBC suit Jeff Zucker booted him out of late night and replaced him with Conan O’Brien, good sport Jay accepted the dead-man 10 p.m. slot like a good son.

Jay held his chin high while Conan failed to deliver big numbers of young viewers.

Back went Jay to “The Tonight Show,” where he steadily increased his ratings over David Letterman. Now they want to boot him again, and move Jimmy Fallon into that slot.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Fallon. I think he’s contemporary and hilarious. And I’ve even said before that change is due — but I don’t think it’s due just yet.

That said, if Fallon does get the gig, then as an Italian mother, I need to teach him one sentence, (which Jay never mastered) before he signs a contract: “This is the thanks I get after all I did for you?”