Someday in the dis tant future, the high- paid (male) idiots who run TV, the ones who think the only viewers worth attracting are 18-to-34-year-old males, will realize something every woman already knows: Women watch everything, men watch sports.
Yes, occasionally these beings from Mars do stop watching the same guys run endlessly around the same bases long enough to watch, say, Jack Bauer or another action figure run around the country blowing up bad guys.
Now, finally, someone (OK, it’s a man), named Bill Gorman who writes for the smart TV ratings Web site TV By The Numbers has done what those media buyers should have done years ago. He took the top 65 prime time shows and broke the viewership down by gender.
Guess what? Only six — yes six! — of the 65 shows in prime time have more male viewers than female. And of those, four are animated. As in cartoons.
The only two shows starring actual humans with more male viewers are “24” (you’re kidding!) and “Fringe” (you’re kidding again!).
So, does that mean that men and women watch the other 59 TV shows together while sharing kisses and Velveeta toast-point sandwiches? What planet are you on?
In fact men and women only watch three shows in equal numbers. And those are, “V,” “Dateline NBC,” and “Til Death,” which has finally been cancelled by Fox.
The rest of TV is a vast lady land with “America’s Next Top Model” coming in as the show with the highest ratio of female viewers. What a shock. That’s not to say that men can’t be loyal to their favorite shows.
I know in my home for example, the Love Interest, I’m ashamed to say, sits around the den surrounded by Jack Bauer action figures in the eerie glow of the flat screen watching and re-watching Jack B single-handedly save 180 million people an hour from sure death.
Now that Jack is quitting, the Love Interest is so distraught he’s mentioned the possibility of personally releasing toxic chemicals into the air to keep Jack from jumping the “24” ship. Me? I’ve got 10 shows that I’m that passionate about.
Like I said, men and women are from different planets.
But John Gray got it wrong. Women are from Mars and men are from, well, it rhymes with “Venus.”
More male viewers than female
“The Simpsons”
“Family Guy”
“The Cleveland Show”
“Chuck”
“Fringe”
“24”
“V”
More female viewers than male
“America’s Next Top Model”
“Grey’s Anatomy”
“Gossip Girl”
“Dancing With the Stars”
“One Tree Hill”
“Biggest Loser”