People, we have a crisis in this country. No, we’re not talking education, national defense or the lack of gold medals in skiing during the Winter Olympics — no, no, it’s much more serious than that. The crisis is in fashion — or more specifically, in the fashion magazines that cover fashion. They are losing their identity and for a huge chunk of their pages, you can’t tell them apart.
Let’s start with Glenda Bailey’s Harper’s Bazaar. Glenda, sweetheart, pull up a chair and wrinkle that Derek Lam dress. When you thumb through your 532-page March issue from page 1, when would you say that signature Harper’s look kicks in? Halfway? We’d say page 434. You can do better. While your fashion shoots certainly rock (none of your rivals do a better job at shooting and presenting the clothes or making them look like we’d like to wear them — all of them), the rest of the book needs work. That Missoni outfit you say is a key piece of a spring wardrobe is advertised 35 pages later. Coincidence? Just askin.’ Why did you let David Sedaris take such a cheap shot at Ted Williams? That wasn’t funny. And while last September you swapped air kisses with Victoria Beckham and said black dresses with a splash of white were going to be a “key” look for spring, we only saw one such outfit in the issue.
But at least you didn’t put Miley Cyrus on the cover like Stefano Tonchi did over at W magazine. Sir, didn’t her 15 minutes tick away in, like, September? Right as you were planning your … March issue? Bad idea. W, with its oversized format, used to be the best place to see new fashion. Now its vampish, poorly lit fashion shots are terrible and far out-populate the crisp, naturally lit spreads. We want to see the clothes, not your sad dreams and nightmares brought to life. And Stefano, if nipples were nuts, you’d be certifiably crazy. Is that what sets the Condé Nast crowd tittering? Don’t get us wrong. We like to gawk as much as the next critic at page after page of bare-chested men and women, but all the energy put into your “pillow tweets” spread seems to have sucked the creative juices from what we bought the issue for — fashion. That said, W still delivers exciting stories and the feature on Marc Jacobs is the magazine at its best. Jacobs, who left Louis Vuitton last year, desperately wants the financial success fellow designer Michael Kors has achieved. Writer David Amsden gives Jacobs enough ink — and rope — to hang that issue out clearly where we can all see it.
Elle has joined the bandwagon in touting white at every turn: white dresses, white pants, white nails and (horrors!) white eyeshadow. We pray the white painted eyelids will fade fast like so many pink workout leotards from the ’80s. That said, spring fashion will be a feast for the eyes this season, according to Elle, which promises mixing of colors and textures — so much so that the clothing often looks like it’s been pulled straight from a Japanese wood print. In the words department, Elle has found a gem in author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who writes about how she rediscovered her love of clothes following years of downplaying style in an effort to be taken seriously as a writer. We want more of the talented Adichie, and suggest the mag do a spread on her fashion line, much of which is designed by her with the help of tailors. Readers need a break from the same tired looks, and from the industry’s go-to tales of models doing charity work and rich girls vying to be taken seriously.
If you’ve got cabin fever from too many snow days and icy slush has stopped you from indulging in some retail therapy, Time Inc.’s InStyle is the perfect pick-me-up. The current issue — like every other issue — is a photo-filled phone directory of fashion. One wonders how the editorial meetings go at such magazines since there’s no discernible direction in terms of defining a single seasonal trend. Instead its hundreds of pages display every conceivable trend out there from pedal pushers covered in petals to haute couture in every shade of pink. InStyle is the most traditional woman’s fashion magazine covering all the usual month-to- month basics from beauty tips (how to wash your make-up brushes) to handbags, but it’s all the hippest stuff. If skinny blondes didn’t exist, it’s hard to imagine what InStyle would do. This month’s features section has Nicole Kidman looking youthful and sassy. Too bad her latest movie, “Grace of Monaco,” isn’t.
Time notes that President Obama lamented the sorry state of the US criminal justice system way back in 2007, charging in a speech that “No one has been willing to brave the politics and make it right.” Now, that’s changing, sort of. Obama lately has moved to reform ridiculously harsh sentences for nonviolent drug offenses (the product, we would submit, of decades of out-of-control “tough on crime” campaigns by state attorneys general nationwide). But rather than coming out and making noise himself, he appears to have persuaded Time magazine to write about it. (Similarly, see the story on Mexico, which notes that Obama has privately called our neighbor to the south “the most underappreciated problem” facing his administration.) Elsewhere, a nice cover story profiles a recent outcropping of “six-year” high schools backed by corporations that, gasp, want to help students by preparing them for jobs instead of selling them laptops and tablet devices. Bravo.