PLAXICO “Brain Dead” Burress walked into the courtroom without a visible limp – or a clue.
He carried nothing except a gigantic chip on his shoulder, several pounds of stupidity, and a pinch of arrogance. But no weapons.
Thank God.
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Plaxico shuffled silently from one foot to the other as he rose to his slim, 6-foot-5 height – evidently not accustomed to being ignored. Or maybe he didn’t like being ridiculed by the normally adoring mob.
“Hey, I thought you said he was big!” I overheard a cop laugh, at Plaxico’s expense.
The man once called a $35 million wide receiver with magic hands is now known as the butt of a not-so-funny joke. Now he’s the dangerous dolt who shot himself in the thigh with an unlicensed pistol to keep from spilling his drink.
As he stood with his lawyer, Ben Brafman, to be arraigned on two weapon-possession charges, it seemed to dawn on Plaxi-joke that, for the first time in his spoiled life, no one was there for him.
No bouncers came to spirit him out of this nightmare. No hospital workers were on hand to cover up for him. No relatives were present to blame for his messes. Except for his wife, Tiffany, who played miserably with a long strand of hair, no one showed up to save Plaxico’s sorry behind.
It wasn’t always like this.
OPINION: The Perils Of Plaxico
In 2005, Plaxico failed to answer for a misdemeanor arrest in Virginia Beach, prosecutor John Wolfstaetter told the judge. Actually, it wasn’t the only time he failed to show up.
He was charged with reckless driving for passing a car on a coastal road in 2005, then missed his court date, a transgression Brafman blamed on a scheduling problem. Eventually, he received a 30-day sentence, which was suspended.
Three years earlier, Plaxico was charged with public intoxication in Pittsburgh, when he played for the Steelers. He’d been thrown out of several bars with his brother, Carlos. When a cop tried to arrest Plaxico, Carlos beat up the man in uniform, leading to a felony charge. He later pleaded guilty.
Now get this – Plaxico said the cop targeted him for arrest because he plays football. In his charmed life, no one had ever treated him with anything but reverence.
Later, Plaxico sought sympathy. He blamed his arrest in interviews not on his fame but on the death of his mother two months earlier.
I don’t know what caused him to curse out officials, verbally abuse a head linesman, or throw a ball in the stands – all of which caused him to be fined by the NFL this year.
He’s run out of excuses.