Entertainment

REAL BAD GIRL

IF Bernie Madoff didn’t exist, then “Damages” lead shark, Patty Hewes, would be the worst person in the world. But since Madoff does exist, and, thank God, Hewes doesn’t, not in real life anyway, Madoff can retain his title as the worst human since Adolf Hitler.

Patty gets to keep the title among TV characters, though. “Damages” returns tonight with Patty (Glenn Close) leading the charge in all her slim-hipped, high-heeled glory to ruin the lives of all who cross her, and even those who just cross her path.

While “Damages” was not my favorite show last year, I’ve developed a grudging respect for it – I mean, seriously, who has the nerve to be this over-the-top on TV? Oh wait, yes, there is that other FX show, “Nip/Tuck,” which is to plastic surgery as “Damages” is to the legal profession and as Madoff is to finance.

But since 2008 taught me that professional, truffle-fueled monsters who shamelessly sport $10,000 suits while going about destroying the lives of everyone around them not only exist but abound, Patty Hewes no longer seems so over-the-top as she did last season. In fact, compared to the Wall Street banking monsters and their shark lawyers, Patty almost seems tame. Almost.

Tonight’s season premiere, “I Lied, Too,” finds Patty, who last season broke the back of bazillionaire Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson), ready to start her own charitable foundation. Right.

Now that Frobisher, a shell of a man lying alone in a hospital is taken care of, Patty is looking for new challenges.

As luck would have it, who should show up but Daniel Purcell (William Hurt), a man from her mysterious past. We don’t know what their relationship was, but me? I don’t like the look he exchanges with Patty’s son.

Then, there’s Ellen (Rose Byrn), the neophyte lawyer whom Patty has turned into a rich neophyte lawyer and who is determined to ruin Patty, who she thinks tried to kill her.

To take Hewes down, Ellen has gone the Adriana route and is wearing a wire for the feds. Well, in this day and age, no one has to “wear” a wire any longer. Now they just use their cell phones.

The feds are looking to bring down not just Patty, but her associate Tom (Tate Donovan). They work with Ellen on a sting operation that involves a bogus infant mortality, class action suit.

Ellen, still grieving for her murdered fiancé, may finally find comfort from another – a mysterious guy called Wes (Timothy Olyphant), whom she meets in her grief counseling group. Yeah, well, you know what they say: never trust anyone who’s as disturbed as you are.

And, by the way, all that money hasn’t improved Ellen’s mood. Now, she’s depressed, furious and rich.

All in all, a great good time with not one single character to like. Now, that’s entertainment!