THE only thing worse than bad winners are sore losers, and we’ve had enough of them for the past eight years. So with that in mind, in the wake of last week’s historic inauguration, here’s a “Handbook For The Loyal Opposition,” 2009 edition – a “To Don’t List,” if you will. Or even if you won’t.
Don’t question the motives – question the policy. When you disagree with President Obama’s policies, say so, and make it clear why. But remember that Obama is doing what he thinks is best for the country, as President George W. Bush did. Both men love America and want what’s best for her. End of story.
Don’t make it personal. We don’t need another “derangement syndrome.” We don’t need people doing things like emphasizing Obama’s middle name in a derogatory fashion. How anyone would think that’s beneficial to their cause or to the country as a whole is beyond me.
Also, it’s not even clever. Neither are “smushwords” like BusHitler, or “sillywords” like Rethuglicans and Dhimmicrats.
Don’t use George Lucas as your moral guide. In the climactic battle scene between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker in “Revenge of the Sith,” Obi-Wan screams, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes,” and then a few seconds later says, “The Sith are evil!” If you substitute “George W. Bush,” or even “America,” for “The Sith,” this neatly sums up the worldview of many on the left: Other cultures are “different,” and “need to be respected,” while America is bad. (And by the way, let’s call this what it is: paternalism.)
Don’t make absurd moral-equivalency arguments. When it called the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay “the gulag of our times,” Amnesty International substituted childish anti-Americanism for serious moral discourse, and made the high-school mistake of thinking that looking cool in front of your friends is more important than doing the right thing.
Similarly, when you elevate the disgusting events that took place at Abu Ghraib prison to the same level as the Hussein clan’s rape and torture rooms, even though one was a clear violation of policy and the other was policy, your moral compass is pointing somewhere in the vicinity of Antarctica.
Don’t cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots. Sean Penn is an ass. No reason to be like him. ‘Nuff said. (Corollary: DON’T cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots and then act outraged when people question your patriotism.)
Don’t pretend you’re being brave when you criticize your government – not while people in other countries actually die for doing that.
Don’t abuse the English language. Let “fascist” and “socialist” mean what they’re supposed to mean, instead of using them because you have nothing intelligent or interesting to say. And don’t use the word “divisive.” After the last eight years, all that word means is, “Half the country disagrees with me.”
Don’t use the phrase “speaking truth to power.” EVER.
Don’t move to Canada.
Don’t say you’re going to move to Canada and then stay here. (I know it’s too late for Stephen Baldwin, but not for the rest of you.)
Don’t apologize to foreigners and say things to them like, “I didn’t vote for Obama” or “He’s not MY president.”
Don’t say or do everything in your power to drive this country apart and then claim you want unity when it’s your guy in power. This is like the convicted felon who “finds God” when he’s up for parole.
Don’t call people un-American one week and then talk about how “we are not blue states or red states, we are the United States” the next. (This rule may only apply to Tom Hanks, but I put it in just to be safe.)
Don’t automatically think people who disagree with you are stupid or evil. Some of them are, of course (as are some of the people who agree with you). But most of them aren’t, and you might actually learn something if you listen to them.
Finally, don’t use the fact that many on the left behaved abominably for the last eight years as an excuse to behave the same way. America needs adults. And if it bothered you when they did it, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t do it.
Andy Levy is a writer and commentator for Fox News Channel’s “Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld.”