GIVEN a 21-gun sa lute Friday at The Palace by the Mav ericks, the franchise formerly known as the Pistons has gone from the Bad Boys to the Really Bad Boys.
The mood had turned so bleak Heather and Terry Mills pronounced Michael Curry’s honeymoon over.
Come back, Dick Vitale, everything but the Bob McAdoo trade is forgiven.
“They are playing with no emotion,” says a long-distance viewer. Allen Iverson “has killed the team’s spirit with his style of play.”
Maybe the East squad can pawn off Iverson on the West preceding next month’s All-Star Game in Phoenix.
Don’t be surprised if Pistons president Joe Dumars trades A.I. before the Feb. 19 deadline, the same team executive e-mailed. “But only if he can get back a similar expiring contract.”
Like the Knicks and Nets, the Pistons are all about accumulating mega cap space for the two upcoming classes of free agents. So hooked on economics is Dumars, an agent testifies, he was prepared to deal treasured Tayshaun Prince for Stephen Jackson (or maybe it was Ron Artest) whose contract was set to terminate after next season. When the Warriors committed to New Jack City for a three-year extension, Detroit’s purported proposal came off the table.
“That’s absolutely false! I’m not trading Prince, period,” Dumars fumed.
Here’s what’s true about the 24-18 Pistons. “We’re definitely going through a transition and change,” Dumars allowed. “We knew we had to eventually make some hard choices to be able move forward. We knew we would have some tough nights.
“But we like that we’re set up to be good going forward.”
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What I found stunning regarding Alonzo (Organ Groaner) Mourning‘s retirement press conference was that it went unsponsored. At the very least there should’ve been a cash bar so the poor guy could’ve glommed one last payday.
Chicago’s correspondents get the distinct feeling Vinny Del Negro may be the NBA’s eighth head coach to get vaporized. I’m hearing Bulls managing partner Jerry Reinsdorf may soon varnish GM John Paxson. Toronto ended a seven-game slide Friday with a convincing, 20-point win at Chicago. Far be it from me to suggest the closing moments were uneventful, but Oprah took her second-half combo meal to go.
All is right with the world. Moped Monta Ellis has returned to the tarmac with a montage of electrifying air raids. Due to a three-month injury absence, his captivation had escaped me. Ellis notched 20 points on a team high 19 shots, but the homesteading Warriors fell a point shy to the Cavaliers – something to do with LeBron James‘ first-as-a-pro buzzer-beater.
I understand the rationale for fastening 6-foot-10 Ronny Turiaf to LeBrontosaurus, but with time winding down to a precious couple clicks, how can you not get into his business and pressure him into a dribble 20-something feet from the basket?
Afterward, Ellis profusely apologized for his recklessness. From now on, he claims, “My sole mode of recreational transportation will be hydroplaning with U.S. Airways.”
Dwight Howard became the first player to get 3 million All-Star votes, making him a starter for the East in the Feb. 15 game and the favorite, in the mind of column castigator Frank Drucker, “to unseat Kirsten Gillibrand in 2010.” In her first official act as senator, Gillibrand ordered Bill Clinton to stop hitting on her.
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Column contributor Alan Elliott feels separated at birth (Mabel just turned 1 Dec. 24) from the NBA. “I read Marc Iavaroni got fired, then see a headline that Avery Johnson turned down the job and I say to myself, ‘I thought Scott Brooks was doing a good job. Then I’m watching the Oklahoma City-Clippers game and the Thunder’s jerseys look so shabby I swear I saw Gabe Kaplan on the bench.’ ”
Long an advocate of Lionel Hollins being given a legit, absurdly overdue head-coaching chance (Maurice Cheeks and Barry Hecker are impeccable choices as assistants), I, nonetheless, can’t imagine what he can do differently to turn around the Grizzlies until a minimum of two established players are added to the wide assortment of capable youth.
Friday’s Thunder-Clippers game was a great preview of the Rookie Challenge on All-Star Friday in Phoenix: Kevin Durant (46 points), Jeff Green (14), Al Thornton (34), Eric Gordon (41) and Russell Westbrook (11), whom Gordon held to 4-of-13 from the field. Down three with the ball and 6 seconds left, Mike Dunleavy, unlike so many other coaches in that situation, wisely called for the foul on the inbound pass. The Thunder missed both free throws (the second on purpose), but got the rebound. Durant aborted the 3-point try. Paper Clips hang on 107-104.
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As usual, my below-the-equator standard is being strictly enforced when selecting 14 nuclear All-Star subs. Granted, there are extenuating circumstances (rash of injuries to key personnel) for looking lousy in the standings. Still, no one should be rewarded for leading a team nowhere worthwhile (Danny Granger, Kevin Martin, Al Jefferson, Chris Bosh, etc.). It sends an appalling message. Players should know only winning efforts get honored at the break.
East: No center qualifies. Paul Pierce, Joe Johnson, Jameer Nelson, Mo Williams, Rashard Lewis, Rajon Rondo, and, if forced to make one exception, it’s David Lee.
West: Pau Gasol, Dirk Nowitzki, Nene, Tony Parker, Chauncey Billups, Brandon Roy and Deron Williams.
Nine rookies: Greg Oden, O.J. Mayo, Kevin Love, Gordon, Westbrook, Mario Chalmers, Brook Lopez, Derrick Rose, D.J. Augustine.
Nine sophs: Durant, Thornton, Al Horford, Rodney Stuckey, Daequan Cook, Yi Jianlian, Thaddeus Young, Wilson Chandler and Nick Young.
The impeachment trial of Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich begins tomorrow. Unsure the guy gets it. Seems he spent the better part of the weekend selling seats on the jury.