WHAT the heck was that? Wake me when it’s over. For good.
Last night’s Oscar presentation – from the cringe-inducing, bad-taste opening “poor is funny” number that host Hugh Jackman performed like a cheesy cruise-ship entertainer to the endless hours of awards to dull men we’ve never heard of for categories we don’t care about – this “all new” Oscars presentation was like “High School Musical,” the real thing.
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And, of course, sad clown Jerry Lewis showing people what class in the often classless world of Hollywood actually is.
It all began badly with two Jackman shout-outs to overly celebrated, Best Actress winner Kate Winslet, of the Nazi revisionist “The Reader,” before he jumped into the audience and sat on laps like a bad Don Rickles imitator crooning, “I would swim though a sea of human excrement.”
Although in a fairly dull night, a very good new touch was having past winners up on stage introducing this year’s contenders.
There were Goldie Hawn’s lips which looked like they did in “The First Wives Club” to gawk at, as well as the normally gorgeous, and Sophia Loren looking like she was left out in the rain and her hair and skin turned rusty.
What color were her hair and skin anyway?
Other highs and lights of the show that ran overtime were presenters Tina Fey and Steve Martin, who made the most of the awful script.
One cringe-inducing presenter who must never be invited back is Jack Black, whose complete lack of humor made Jennifer Aniston look uncomfortable.
And finally, there was Will Smith coming up out of the floor like the Jones Beach orchestra!
Finally, for me, personally, the Best Short Documentary for “Smile Pinki” – the story of the Smile Train, a charity that provides surgery to children born with cleft palates – was the best moment of the night.
But we didn’t get to the good stuff (actor, actress, etc.) until two hours into the show! No wonder it loses viewers every year.
It makes you think that it all just isn’t worth the wait.