The only thing remotely scary about “Monsters” is that Magnolia is releasing this boring scare-, suspense- and gore-free horror movie (which reportedly cost less than $100,000) on Halloween weekend.
It’s set in the near future, when the proliferation of alien life forms from a crashed NASA probe have resulted in much of Mexico being quarantined. A US photojournalist (Scoot McNairy) is assigned to escort his publisher’s daughter (Whitney Able) through an infected zone filled with Third World stereotypes on the way back to Texas.
Both of them are so obnoxious that you’re quickly rooting for the monsters to get them. Unfortunately, they’re never in any real danger.
We see only the most fleeting glimpes of the octopus-like creatures until the last scene, where they perform a mating dance that resembles a special-effects demonstration reel.
In case anyone misses that this very poor relation of “District 9” — lamely acted and slackly directed by special-effects specialist Gareth Edwards — is an allegory about immigration, a character looking at the border fence tells us that “it’s different looking at America from the outside.”