Patrick Moote’s penis is so small, his girlfriend turned down his marriage proposal. Patrick Moote’s penis is so small, he traveled around the world looking for enlargement solutions. Patrick Moote’s penis is so small, he made a movie about it.
In the new documentary, “UnHung Hero,” which is available on Showtime now and on DVD Dec. 10, comedian Patrick Moote searches for a way to deal with his less-than-large member. It all began when Moote’s girlfriend rejected his marriage proposal on a Jumbotron at a UCLA basketball game. Video of the fail went viral, and Moote’s girlfriend told him that one reason she couldn’t marry him was that his manhood just didn’t pack enough punch. In “UnHung Hero,” Moote sets out to change that, and answer the question, “Does size matter?” We asked him all about it.
The New York Post: Why did you decide to pursue this?
Patrick Moote: I’ve always gone after things I’m insecure about head on. The first people I go to are my friends. And I think it was a good distraction from what had happened to me. Also, the proposal video got so many hits, it was hard not to look at it as some sort of an asset. Maybe I can turn this thing that was so brutal into something that could be positive. Why I did it? I still don’t know, but those are some of the reasons that help me sleep at night.
NYP: Why are you not humiliated by telling the world you have a small penis?
Moote: I mean, when we started the film, the point I wanted to prove was not only does size not matter, but also that I don’t have a particularly small penis. I think that we really saw an opportunity to answer a question that I think was bothering a lot of guys and I think it was really bothering me. I’ve been in LA for a little over a decade now, and I’ve been working in the entertainment industry, so my life is rejection and humiliation. Even when I was telling people about it, I never felt like I was embarrassing myself that much. It was almost like doing a service for men in general.
NYP: Why don’t you give a specific measurement for how small you are?
Moote: When you’re measuring an erection, there’s an average for it, but there’s no set number. If you put on 10 pounds it’s gonna take off a centimeter. If you’re not having a particularly good day with circulation, it’s going to affect it. If you’re feeling stressed out or your heat doesn’t work in your apartment, it’s going to affect how large it is. But the doctor who measured me, flaccid, she basically grabbed it by the tip and yanked on it and “low normal” is what she said. But like Dan Savage says in the movie, half of everyone is.
NYP: So now do you still feel like you have a small penis?
Moote: Yeah, I do. I don’t feel like I have a really small penis, I just know it’s not a particularly impressive or special penis. But it’s my penis, I love it and it’s great. We hang out all the time. But I’m still insecure about it. This wasn’t a magic cure-all for me. It’s not like I’m walking into parties and dropping trou.
NYP: Do friends give you a lot of crap for this?
Moote: I catch a lot of it, but it’s funny, when people do that, because I’ve owned it the way that I have, it’s like they’re stealing my material. ‘Oh, yeah, good one! I just declared that basically on a national level and you’re going to make this joke in front of a couple of buddies while we’re playing video games. Real funny.’
NYP: What was the strangest method of attempting to add penis length that you encountered while making the film?
Moote: In Thailand, we went to a guy named Master Chu’s studio to witness and participate in a form of martial arts where one of the techniques they use is hanging weights from their penis. On the outside it seems very strange, but it made a lot of sense. They’ve been doing it for like a thousand years, and I’m not going to lie, when they untied the rope and weight and released it from my situation, it felt amazing.
NYP: Why did you ultimately not show your penis in the film?
Moote: Because it’s my nightmare to have it on camera.
NYP: How’s your sex life now?
Moote: It’s interesting because the times that I have been on dates and the penis has come up, I think I’ve set the bar so low, girls are just surprised I even have a penis. A girl I had been on a couple of dates with before, it came out and she said, “Oh, my God, it’s not that small.” And I said, “That’s not really a compliment.” The expectations are so low I can’t disappoint.