By now, you’d think, there would be one football-televising network eager to work off a radically different plan, one titled, “Better.”
You’d think, by now, that one network would strive to distinguish itself as both different and superior by pursuing easily accomplished goals:
“We’re the network that allows you to both watch and enjoy football games by demanding our commentators not present a speech, sermon or description of the self-evident after every whistle, lasting until the next snap.
“We here at WISH-TV recognize you didn’t turn on your TV because you confused it with your radio; that you tuned to a football game with some prior knowledge of the game and with no urge to have one, two, three or four people fill your ears for the next three-plus hours.
“We realize if you wanted to read the game rather than watch it, you could read about it later, thus we’ll exclude all distracting, view-diminishing screen clutter, especially graphics carrying misleading, context-free and irrelevant statistics.
“Furthermore, our sideline reporters will be in place only to provide our audiences pertinent, applicable news. No sideliner will appear for the sake of demonstrating that he or she is there.”
Now what would happen if a network worked off such a blueprint? Other than being known to the nation as the network that stands out as the best, what’s the worst that could happen?
But sports TV execs are far more disposed to copy and then build on the worst of all ideas. There is no bad idea unworthy of duplication, then perpetuation.
Thus, Mike Mayock — and he’s hardly alone — is contracted by two networks, NBC and NFL Network, to wreck up to two national football telecasts per week.
The shame of it all is on Saturday, early in NBC’s Oklahoma-Notre Dame broadcast, Mayock did say things worth hearing, considering and applying.
But by the time the first quarter ended, he had so endlessly, obligatorily and senselessly spoken — every whistle until every next snap — he had drowned himself out in his own juices.
Reader Jack Chiostergl: “To everyone else, the player is just playing his position, tackling a guy who came right at him. To Professor Mayock, “He did a great job staying home.”
Exactly.
It was as if Mayock followed us around the room, poking us, annoying us, demanding we still pay attention to him when he’d already drained us of our patience. TV can’t possibly provide “the best seat in the house” when it tethers us to a seat beside such experts.
Is there no one in a position of authority — gifted with common sense — at any of these networks disposed to sit down after a telecast, listen to the tape, then save us from the Mike Mayocks, Jon Grudens, Moose Johnstons, Dan Dierdorfs, Jesse Palmers and Matt Millens? Is there no one to save them from themselves?
Or do these execs honestly feel their telecasts are good, let alone the best?
Anyway, next up Saturday was Arizona-Washington on Fox, with “Screaming” Gus Johnson and “Short-story-long” Charles Davis. The game was stashed behind a wall of noise and nonsense.
And still to come on ABC/ESPN was Wisconsin-Ohio State, with career shill and hype artist Brent Musburger talking all night with “Herbie.”
I just don’t get it. You?
Mets on WFAN no longer has ring to it
Sunday, for the last time since WFAN was hatched in 1987, that half-inning, five-second jingle — “Let’s Go Mets, F-A-N!” — was heard.
Student-athletics, anyone? Thursday night, three made-for TV college football games were played. This Thursday it’ll be four, including Texas-Iowa State and UCLA-Utah. Must be Spring Break.
Of statues and statutes: All these “forever” honors being bestowed upon Ray Lewis in Baltimore, including a statue, perhaps should be cast in plastic rather than bronze. What if the ESPN analyst suddenly recalls what he did with his blood-soaked white suit and spontaneously confesses?
Although Eagles WR Riley Cooper’s use of the N-word became an extended shame-shame on ESPN, ESPN recently proudly presented rapper Drake on its “First Take” show. Check out what he raps for a living.
Look at it this way: If you buy one of those MLB-licensed Mariano Rivera baseball bats, you can display it alongside your Wayne Gretzky goalie mask.
MLB Network on Sunday provided what we’ve come to expect. It carried live coverage of that wild, wild-pitch finish to Marlin Henderson Alvarez’s no-hitter.
NCAA Builds Character Game of the Week: Old Dominion, in its 66-10 win against Albany, threw 37 times.
Sweet shot from YES on Thursday: All in the bullpen standing and applauding as Rivera trotted in. Also nice the booth stayed quiet as Rivera’s entrance was announced by Bob Sheppard.
Perhaps Jimmy Dolan would be more inclined to take questions if he had some good answers.
Ch. 7 News’ Anthony Johnson was dispatched to Yankee Stadium Friday to provide a live, day-after report on Rivera’s final game — at 6:34 a.m. That’s how local TV news now rolls. If, at 6:34 a.m., Johnson were to report a cost increase for stamps, he’d have stood in front of the Post Office — or a mailbox.
When Erin’s there, nothing else matters
Seem Fox’s Erin Andrews’ sideline presence is a big story in every game she works.
The Bucs-Jets’ season opener kicked off while Andrews was in a lengthy prepared speech. That was how Sunday’s Giants-Chiefs game opened. We didn’t know the name of the kicker or the kick returner, but we did know — again — that Erin Andrews was in the house!
Her opening-kick, couldn’t-wait angle? The Giants badly need this one — and seem motivated.
By the way, with one minute left in the first half, the clock running, Giants at midfield and going hurry-up, Fox left the live scene for a replay of the previous play, a short, so-what catch. Why? Motivation.
Thanks for Taking My Call: Two-plus weeks ago, Mike Francesa applied his all-knowing wisdom to the AL wild-card race: The only team with absolutely no shot is Cleveland. Presto! Cleveland won 14 of 17, finished with 10 straight victories, and won a wild card.
Yet, no foolin’, he made a strong point Sunday morning: How pumped would their fans be if the Jets were 1-2 instead of 2-1? And 1-2, he said, was just one play (the Bucs’ Lavonte David’s all-time stupid late hit with :07 left) away.