That’s more like it. Hondo, who had a rare dalliance with success in Week 14 when he went 10-6 overall and 3-0 in Best Bets, turned it right around last week when he took Nancy Pelosi’s advice and re-embraced the suck, going 6-10 in the compulsories and 0-3 in BBs.
Here are this week’s gifts. All you have to do is figure out which 10 to reverse and you will have yourself a very Merry Christmas, unless Mr. Aitch already reversed, in which case a double-reverse is the play.
Jets over Browns: Santonio Holmes, saying he will take a pay cut to return to the Jets, pledged to do “anything for the team.” He’s lucky he didn’t say that earlier in the season or he might have beaten out Obama’s “If you like your health-care plan, you can keep it,” for Lie of the Year.
Lions over Giants: It’s PickFest 2013 — Eli has thrown eight in his past four games, while Detroit’s Matt Stafford has thrown nine in his last four. Hondo hears DBs and linebackers on both teams have been working exclusively on pass-catching drills this week.
This could set the record for most picks in a game, which was set by Joe Walton when he was coaching the Jets.
Bills over Dolphins: Plastic surgery aficionado Bruce Jenner reportedly has been making plans to flatten his Adam’s apple with a “laryngeal shave.” Many suspect that will be a prelude to some straight-razor work on another body part.
Panthers over Saints: Hondo was denied a seventh winner last week by some Ron Rivera brain flatulence. Facing a fourth-and-2 from the Jets’ 14, Rivera went for it instead of kicking a field goal that ultimately would have resulted in a Carolina cover. Remember, Ron: Good coaches win; great coaches cover.
Redskins over Cowboys: Dallas WR Dez Bryant explained he left the field Sunday before the Cowboys’ collapse was complete because he didn’t want the fans to see him crying. That qualifies Dez for automatic inclusion on the NFL’s All-Sensitive Team along with Jonathan Martin and Knowshon Moreno. Dick Vermiel, of course, is the coach in perpetuity.
Rams over Buccaneers: This game promises to be every bit as exciting as watching Sylvester Stallone, 67, and Robert De Niro, 70, duke it out in “Grudge Match.” Cowboys “D” coordinator Monte Kiffin, 73, has next.
Chiefs over Colts: E-mailer Siciliano, a k a The Bronx Bomber, says he hears mayor-elect de Blasio wants the new NYC tourism slogan to be changed to “Paint the town Red.”
Bengals over Vikings: Joe Biden was pictured this week manhandling White House reporter Amie Parnes in front of a Christmas tree. Chances are Obama aides called attention to the photo to take the heat off the President for his inappropriate selfie at the Mandela memorial.
The Gaffe Machine’s claim of having played football at Delaware has been roundly disputed, but from some of the pictures he has been in with members of the opposite sex, the touchy-feely VP looks like he would have been a natural for the “hands” team.
Broncos over Texans: From BarkingMut of SoBe: After Nancy Pelosi advocated for passage of the budget deal by encouraging Congress to “embrace the suck,” Peyronie Bill Clinton said that was the same advice he preached when he was in the White House.
Jaguars over Titans: Kathy Griffin has set the Guinness World Record for most televised stand-up specials with 20, which is quite an accomplishment for someone who isn’t the least bit amusing.
It’s fitting Griffin is being honored by Guinness, because you have to drink a case of it to muster anything close to a laugh at her material.
Seahawks over Cardinals: A victory here and the Seahags will be home till their trip back to MetLife in February … and Bob’s your uncle. Fortunately, Jang’s not your uncle or you’d have a dead relative in North Korea.
Packers over Steelers: Roger Goodell has banned tailgating at the Super Bowl, but there are plenty of other fun things to do in your car before the big game: Read a book, knit, nap, clip or bite your nails, play solitaire, etc. So have a ball, all you lucky ticket-holders.
Chargers over Raiders: Yale University reportedly received $384,989 from the bloated federal budget to study the duck penis. Hondo’s first heir points out if the study is completed before Feb. 2, fans will have another fun thing to do at MetLife Stadium before the Supe: Read the duck penis report.
If any new ground is broken in the Yale study, word is the school may change its nickname from the Yale Bulldogs to the Yale Duck Penises.
Ravens over Patriots: Speaking of ducks, A&E’s suspension of Phil Robertson from “Duck Dynasty” — for being Phil Robertson — basically puts him on the receiving end of what he said is a sinful act.
Bears over Eagles: According to a poll, 45 percent believe Obama is honest, which given the President’s oft-repeated health-care lies, seems about 45 points too high.
49ers over Falcons: Rumor has it Toronto mayor Rob Ford has completed a Christmas album that will include his adaptation of Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” called “The Crackmas Song.” Sing along if you know the words: Crack coke burning in an open pipe, Time to take a hit, don’t mind if I do, You know it’s been smoked many times many ways, Merry Crackmas to you. Other tunes on the disc: “Frosty the Crackman,” “Rudolph The White-Nosed Reindeer,” “I’m Dreaming of a White Powdery Christmas,” “Let It Snow,” and “O Christmas Pipe.”
BEST BETS: Panthers, Chiefs, Bengals.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good week.