For all his faults, I knew Lane Pryce was a wee bit smart. Sure, he may be cheating his company out of money and trying to cheat on his wife, but his moment of spot-on brilliance several episodes ago rang true last night: Pete really is a grimy little pimp.
Where most episodes this season have been helter-skelter, skipping between storylines with relative ease, this one focused on one major plot development and another that only became major in the last few minutes. It was both spectacular and sad, which is where ‘Mad Men’ is at its best.
With the prospect of landing the Jaguar account so close they can taste it, the creative team (sans Peggy) is working overtime but coming up short. The initial idea is to advertise Jaguar as a beautiful mistress, something you want when the old reliable isn’t just exciting anymore. Peggy sees that lobsters have been ordered for the group and is annoyed, because Ginsburg and his merry band of jerks are eating lobster while she’s eating Secor laxatives.
Also hard at work for the Jaguar business, Pete and Ken are wining and dining a Jaguar dealer named Herb who clearly only eats herbs when they’re seasoning his prime rib. When Herb makes it clear that he’d likely throw his support behind SCDP if – and only if – they can score him an evening of lust with Joan, Pete does everything but offer her up like a side of creamed spinach.
Pete approaches Joan the next day with no scruples. He complains that they will lose the Jaguar account unless she will spend the night with Herb. At first she reacts with boredom, asking “How did that come up?” Then when she finally realizes what’s going on and tells him she’s not interested, because she’s not, you know, a prostitute, he asks her to think of a way to break it to the company that they’re going to lose the business. Naturally, Joan flips out. Pete tries to rationalize it, saying that sleeping with Herb would make her like Cleopatra. “What would it take to make you a queen?” he asks. “I don’t think you could afford it,” she sneers back at him. And then he says he hopes he hasn’t insulted her, which is maybe the most hollow thing ever said by anyone, ever.
Oh, Pete. He takes Joan’s “I don’t think you could afford it line,” and turns it into a challenge. He takes the idea to the partners to figure out what they can offer Joan to entice her to take a romp with Herb. Everyone is initially mortified, and Don walks out, saying they can win the business without Herb’s support. Burt, Roger and Lane are grossed out but eventually agree, with reservations, to see what they can afford to offer her. Don Draper: the voice of morality.
Peggy’s called in to pinch-hit for Ginsburg on a call with Chevalier Blanc because they’re ready to pull their television commercials. She refuses to pretend like she’s Ginsburg’s junior and instead comes up with an idea on the spot to reinvigorate the campaign for Valentine’s Day with an ad based in Paris. When Ken, Peggy and Harry come to Don to share the good news that the client loved it, Don absentmindedly says, “Great,” and then tells them he’ll make sure Ginsburg is freed up to go to Paris. When Peggy tersely reminds him that it was her idea, he throws some money at her and yells at her to go to Paris then. Peggy, who’s been dealing with Don’s crap for awhile now, is over it.
Lane approaches Joan to discuss the Herb dilemma. He reveals that the partners discussed giving her a great deal of money. She’s shocked that Roger was part of the discussion. Lane knows he can’t ask for more credit and that the company doesn’t have $50,000 – because he stole what money he did borrow – so he “suggests” that she refuse the money and instead ask for a 5% ownership interest.
Megan and her friend stop by the office late that evening because they’re going to audition for a great part in a play. Megan takes Don into his office for a little shot of, um, confidence, while her friend inexplicably crawls and “wrrrowwws” across the table to the delight of the creative team like a….drunk Jaguar. Ginsburg is not so inspired, and remarks of Megan, “So she just comes and goes as she pleases, huh?”
When Megan finds out that she got a callback, she gleefully tells Don that he better come up to visit her in Boston every weekend. Don, who’s just learning about Boston for the first time, says nope. Megan gets pissed, because what, does he expect her to be a singing waitress or eat ice cream sarcastically for the rest of her life? When she learns that she didn’t get the part, she explains to Don that if she has to choose between him and acting, she’ll choose Don, but she’ll hate him for it. Don seems ok with this.
After a long day of being pimped out by her bosses, tipsy Joan comes home to learn that her refrigerator is broken and her mom is a racist. After sleeping on the idea, she tells Pete that she wants a 5% ownership interest in the company in exchange for sexytimes with Herb. Pete tells Don that Joan agreed, and that the other partners agreed to make her an equity partner. Don is mortified and goes to Joan’s house to tell her it’s not worth it. “I was told everyone was on board.” Don explains that he said no but everyone else voted yes when he left.
Ginsburg comes up with a new spin on the Jaguar pitch: “Jaguar, at last, something beautiful you can truly own.” Don loves it, and they immediately begin to prepare for the big pitch. They march into Jaguar and Don makes a knockout presentation. The Don Draper Show is cut in with Joan arriving at Herb’s hotel room, where he gives her a necklace like he’s some sort of “Sultan of Araby.” When he suggests they get down to business, you can see that she’s shaking and mortified. “What price would we pay? What behavior would we forgive?” asks Don to the group from Jaguar, including Herb.
Peggy’s having coffee with Freddy Rumsen and complaining about Don. He suggests she start to look around and offers to act as her headhunter. She flippantly says she’s open to taking some meetings and seeing what’s out there. But when Peggy meets with one of Don’s rivals, he offers her the title of copy chief and $1,000 more than she asked for ($19,000!). Peggy is baffled.
At the office the next day, it is revealed that SDCP won the Jaguar account, and Joan joins the partners to share the good news, at which point Don realizes that she’s actually slept with greasy Herb. Unfortunately for Lane, who already spent the Christmas bonus before even receiving it, the company now has to sufficiently staff the account, so Burt declares the bonuses dead.
Don, grouchy because he knows they’re now all in the grimy little pimp club, initially blows off Peggy when she announces she needs to talk about something serious. Like a true jackass, he blurts out, “I can’t put a girl on Jaguar,” and then, “Is this because we made Joan a partner?” both of which make Peggy’s face all contorted. She pulls it together, thanks him for a being her mentor, and announces that she’s leaving. “You finally picked the right moment to ask for a raise,” he says sarcastically. Peggy assures him that she’s serious, and Don is completely devastated. Veins popping out of his face and everything.
What to do with this problem – this woman – but throw more money at her? “Well, let’s pretend I’m not responsible for every good thing that’s ever happened to you,” he sneers, promising her more money. She says no and offers her hand. Rather than shake it, he kisses it for a long time, and then she walks out, taking the customary long, last looks at everyone, including Joan. The non-elevator of death opens (for those keeping track, it’s the one on the left), and she walks on it with a confident smirk. Peggy rules.