Sports

HILL’S GONNA BOLT MOTOWN: ITCHY RING FINGER NEEDS SCRATCHIN’

INITIALLY, I believed Grant Hill’s playoff-ending injury might prolong his stay in Auburn Hills. Even if it were only for another year. Maybe the Pistons’ franchise player wouldn’t want to leave on such a sour sweep, having never carried his team past the first round. Not once over six seasons. For some romantic reason, I figured Hill would feel some sort of responsibility and affection beyond logic to ex-mentor/current executive Joe Dumars, his teammates and (about-to-be-named) head coach George Irvine.

I thought he would’ve been repulsed at making the break on such a negative note.

That’ll teach me to try to think for someone else. Obviously, I’m afflicted with notion sickness.

According to sources, Hill is giving explicit indications he plans to become a free agent come July 1, by exercising an escape clause in his Pistons contract, and intends to bolt to a genuine title contender.

Hill may be resting his broken ankle, but he’s wearing out his larynx contacting players competing for teams (Knicks, Spurs, Pacers, 76ers) better than his own and asking them all the right questions regarding possible roster movement over the summer.

His message never varies in content and clarity, vouch those connected on the exclusive party line:

Money is not his motivation, it’s complementing his wedding band with a championship ring.

Every player reached out to by Hill repeats the same stuff.

“He says the only thing that’s important to him is playing for a team that’s capable of winning it all,” echoes Hill’s quote. “If the only way to get on a team like that is to accept the $2 million exception, so be it.”

Clearly, the Pistons will make the maximum financial effort ($85M over seven years) to tempt Hill to change his mind and warp his standards.

Once they accept him at his word, management will go all-out to induce him into agreeing to a sign-and-trade proposition; that way Hill can choose his place of play while getting top pay, and the Pistons won’t lose their biggest asset without receiving relatively fair remuneration.

Already there’s sound speculation (which regrettably disregards salary cap issues relating to incomprehensible base year compensation) that the 76ers are prepared to offer Allen Iverson for Hill, and that the Pacers would entertain a Jalen Rose (sign-and-trade) swap.

This just in: Should Hill indeed split, the Pistons plan to rename the Palace Grant’s Tomb.

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SO Lenny Wilkens admitted he “might’ve been a bit exuberant” in saying he was offered the Wizards job. No surprise to this space.

We suspected Wilkens’ prediction was somewhat far fetched when Dionne Warwick and her psychic friends paid him $3.99 a minute to repeat it.

How can this be? Bob Knight’s punishment was a mere three-game suspension and a $30G fine! Prompting J.R. Rider and Roy Tarpley to apply for Knight’s job.

You think Knight got off easy? How about the three referees who flossed Matt Geiger with a flaccid flagrant after he bludgeoned Reggie Miller with his right arm early in Game 4?

They should’ve been fined and suspended the moment they failed to eject Geiger. When refs don’t instantly crack down on uncivilized behavior two things are guaranteed to happen:

The attacker feels he’s been given the freedom to mug his victim yet again; and the victim (or his teammates, friends or relatives) is compelled to take matters into his own hands and get even.

As Notorious B.I.G. would say, “Beef is when I see you, guaranteed to end up in I.C.U.”

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THIS just in: Rod Thorn indefinitely suspended I.U. president Myles Brand. And Geiger’s twin brother, Jesse Ventura.

If the Lakers looked any less interested Sunday, they’d have been NBC viewers.

The Blazers were all poised to sweep the Jazz until informed NBC had one more Jeff Hornacek feature in the can.

The Lakers and Suns combined to shoot 45 for 72 from the free throw line (Shaq was a robust 4-12). Afterward, referee Mike Mathis confided to Joe Valachi he’d never again blow the whistle. Steve Smith was held to one point and no donations in the second half of Game 4.

Brian Grant was not forecasting a Game 6 after Sunday’s loss to the Jazz. “They gotta come to Portland, and then, that’s that.”

Scottie Pippen, who has 15 points and nine rebounds in his last three games, says retiring with more rings than Michael Jordan is more important than winning another title.

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I SEE where Rockets’ officials are talking with Louisville about transplanting the team. It’s a natural. Can’t you picture the first NBA player busted for buying an ounce of bluegrass?

Anthony Mason denied he threw a beer at a woman in a Charlotte nightclub. However, as part of his chastisement, Bob Knight apologized on his behalf.

By the way, Fred Hickman voted for Bob Knight as NBA coach of the Year.

Poor Fred, says he’s been getting “anonymous threats of bodily harm” for being the only non-Shaq MVP voter and vows not to attend Laker home games any time soon. Thus, it’s safe to surmise, after demonstrating the wisdom of McMurphy, Hickman won’t be dating Jack Nicholson.

Phil Jackson concedes, with a little luck the Lakers could be up in this series, three games to one.

The good news for the Heat is, Jamal Mashburn hasn’t missed a free throw in the last two games. The bad news is, he attempted as many as Rodney Buford’s connection.

Charlie Ward says it was his best game ever without cleats.

Does this make Ward the Knicks God-to-guy?