If Carrie Bradshaw ever trades her Manolos for sneakers and starts blogging about raising children, I pray she wouldn’t be as tiresome as the heroine of Katherine Dieckmann’s insufferable comedy “Motherhood.”
Real-life celebrity mom Uma Thurman plays the relentlessly self-absorbed Eliza, a West Village stay-at-home who spends a day shopping for her daughter’s sixth birthday, with time out for party prep and blogging about her pregnant single-mother pal (Minnie Driver) using her son’s bath toys to satisfy her sexual needs.
Eliza also repeatedly whines about money, even though she and the understandably largely absent editor husband (Anthony Edwards) she constantly berates have enough to (illegally) pay for two rent-stabilized apartments. And, of course, she doesn’t have to work — though she complains about not having a job.
Our heroine’s idea of a crisis is having her car towed for a movie shoot on her block after bribing someone for a parking spot. She’s annoyed when Jodie Foster (briefly playing herself) turns up at the playground. And she’s so bored she invites a hunky young messenger into her apartment for some dancing (yeah, right).
And then there are Eliza’s cringe-worthy, self-pitying blog rants, which make Carrie Bradshaw sound like Gertrude Stein by comparison.
“You urban moms are so self-entitled,” somebody tells Eliza at one point. Well, they certainly are in “Motherhood.”
Running time: 90 minutes. Rated PG-13 (profanity, sex and drug references). At the E-Walk, the Beekman, Loews East Village, others.