Sports

NFL Network is no better than the rest

The implied promise that The NFL Net work would present football in a wiser manner than the rest of the NFL’s TV partners remains unfulfilled. Then again, little on truTV is true. And I’ve noticed even less about seasonings on the Spice Channel.

Sorry to say, the NFL Network offers the same sorry junk as the rest. Not horrible, just indistinguishable from the state-of-the-art dopey stuff the NFL’s other networks present.

For example, at halftime of Thursday’s regular season debut, Bears-Niners, NFLN showcased a chat between transient studio analyst Michael Irvin and, geez, not again, Chad Johnson/Ochocinco, who again drew forced laughter by again bragging on himself, yet again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

If there’s a modest man who has helped any NFL team become winners, surely TV has no use for him.

NFLN’s pregame was loaded with pregame-typical breaded stuffing: Gotta stop/establish the run, gotta “play with a swagger,” and, the great-grand dad of them all, “Games are won in the trenches.” Then there was the “I’ll take the 49ers in this one” segment – as the graphic below gave on-line results of stupid questions.

In-game, beyond the alert play-by-play of Giants’ radio man Bob Papa, more parody: Replays appeared to computerized pyrotechnics, commercials were prefaced by tape of players in self-smitten demonstrations and the director, it seemed, couldn’t wait to get off the field.

Thursday’s game largely was decided by two plays, both interceptions thrown by Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler from deep in Niners’ territory. The second not only ended the game – Bears lose — it was Cutler’s fifth interception of the game and his fifth inside the opponents’ 20, this season. Yikes!

Yet, after both cataclysmic interceptions, the kind that demanded quick cuts to see how Chicago coach Lovie Smith would agonize over such recidivist calamity, NFLN cut to Niners’ coach Mike Singletary. But such short-on-thought cuts are neither new nor uncommon.

No better ideas from the NFL Network, just the same old bad ones. Hey, you could call it The Fabulous Fantastic Fabric Channel and it still could be sew-sew.

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For all the hot dogs the media celebrate, excuse or ignore, how does a harmless, humorous hot dog caper become a scandal, burnt beyond recognition?

Last week, ESPN 1050’s Bonnie Bernstein interviewed Mark Sanchez, the opening topic being the harsh, relentless glare of the New York media. As evidence, she cited the hot dog incident — Sanchez found sneaking a tube steak on the bench, even squeezing out a mustard packet, late in a blowout win.

Wait a second! That episode — never portrayed as anything worse than harmless and funny — was revealed on tape, in-game and in Oakland, by CBS, not the New York media. When it was shown, CBS’s announcers, Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf, had fun with it. After that it became a fun, gotcha! in the New York papers and on TV, nothing sinister, ugly or controversial added.

So how, 15 days later, did it serve Bernstein as evidence of the intense, unforgiving glare of the New York media?

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Lou Dobbs’ surprise on- air announcement, last week, that’s he’s done at CNN, effective in a few minutes, is not without precedent. Mark Jackson did the same on YES, late in the Nets’ last game of the 2007-08 season. His “I’m-outta-here” not only shocked YES, it floored Jackson’s TV partner and pal, Marv Albert.

As long as NBC’s Al Michaels every Sunday night is quick to cite quarterback passer ratings as insight, as evidence of accomplishment and ability, perhaps tonight he will be good enough to explain how those ratings are formulated. He wouldn’t just naively parrot those stats, would he?

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So let’s say that after Rutgers sold its athletic soul to become a big-time football school you bought season’s tickets. Saturday afternoons on the banks of the Raritan, pulling for the Scarlet Knights! Yeah!

But it turns out Rutgers is so eager to play weeknights on/for ESPN that only four of seven home games are Saturday afternoons, and three of those were blowouts-by-invitation, against Howard, Florida International and Texas Southern. Thursday you bought the right to sit through a stormy night to watch RU beat South Florida, 31-0, for/on ESPN. Boo-ya!

phil.mushnick@nypost.com