NOW THAT the local football season is over, I can put away my Jim Turner jersey and give my undivided attention deficit to basket cases.
Here’s the thing about Gilbert Arenas’ Washington Post op-ed mea culpa . . . there’s no “mea” in it.
Unlike his weapons, his fingerprints were nowhere near this tripe.
I would wager my last bit of AIG bonus money that Arenas’ take on Le Cage aux Firearms was crafted by any number of people on his payroll . . . oily attorney, slimier Wa-Po columnist.
Hell, President TelePrompter ad libs more.
Arenas’ motives were clear-cut: heavier wallet and lighter sentence.
He’s begun riding the Road to Repentance, hoping (a) his current employer can’t void the varmint from the payroll, and (b) failing “a,” there’s another schnook out there who abides by the PT Barnum theory about a sucker born every minute.
Say this much for Arenas: In the part of the country that has taken “disingenuous” to an art form, he can phony up with the best of ’em.
By the way, how wonderful that Arenas’ partner at 10 paces, Javaris Crittenton, also decided not to challenge his suspension.
“Javaris has reiterated to me his deep personal regret and I have no doubt that he will continue to make positive contributions as a respected member of our union and the NBA community,” union executive director Billy Hunter published in a press release.
Continue to make positive contributions? Did I miss the first wave of those?
Does not pulling the trigger count?
* The shock is not that Mike Dunleavy decided yesterday it was best to end his coaching relationship with the Clippers players, who apparently need to hear a new voice, it’s that team owner Donald Sterling opposed his “halfway resignation.”
Dunleavy will continue his role as general manager for the remaining 1 ½ years on his contract and has proposed assistant Kim Hughes replace him on the sidelines.
Say what you want about the NBA’s second longest-tenured (29th season; Jerry Buss bought the Lakers in 1979; Pollin family has owned Washington franchise since 1964), most media-crucified owner in professional sports history, but he understood the unfeasibility of regularly competing minus the pick of last June’s litter and the team’s most productive player.
Blake Griffin’s twice surgically repaired left patella is keeping him on inactive duty the entire season, whereas my Toenail Clippers are 0-6 minus Chris Kaman’s 20.1 points and 9.2 rebounds.
Was Sterling distressed when L.A. lost consecutive road games last week to the Nets and the Timberwolves? You better believe Dunleavy had a lot of explaining to do after getting rubbed out by the league’s two doormats, though the Clips came back from huge deficits in both losses, the second sans Kaman.
Nonetheless, the infamously impatient owner got it; he could see the players hadn’t quit on Dunleavy (two games later they beat the blistering Bulls in Chicago) and recognized the struggle to win without Blake and Kaman.
No team in the league other than the Nuggets (5-3 without Carmelo Anthony), Spurs (3-0 short Tim Duncan) and Mavericks (1-0 with no Dirk Nowitzki) own positive records unsupplied by their leading scorer.
Having noted that, the 21-28 Clip Joint is the league’s lone outfit to beat the Lakers, Celtics and Nuggets. Despite that opportune multi-injury excuse (Eric Gordon was unavailable for 11 games early-on) Dunleavy had to figure he was losing his players. How else can a disgraceful outcome against the Nets be explained? Support from usually favorable sources also began to decline.
When Dunleavy’s staunchest ally (look no further) started to zing him he realized the posse was gaining on him. “If you were taking pot shots at me I could imagine how much everyone else was loading up.”
* A cab pulls up outside the Hawks’ Four Seasons hotel in Houston on Jan. 25. The driver’s name? John Drew, the Hawks’ second round draft pick in 1974. Been a hack for 12 years. Who spots him? Of all people, VP/TV color commentator Dominique Wilkins, who was traded by Utah to Atlanta Sept. 2, 1982 for Drew, the 6-foot-6 compulsive everything, Freeman Williams and $1 million cash. Wilkins said Drew, who was banned from the NBA in 1986 for violations of the league’s substance abuse policy, looks good.
Did you happen to catch LeBron James quash Dwyane Wade’s ill conceived pass on Jan. 25?
“Consequently, the ‘Bro v. Wade’ decision was upheld, 92-91, which could lead to Miami adopting a de-fetus attitude,” column contributor Richie Kalikow submits.
No matter who represents in Dallas, one thing’s for sure, ain’t no one goin’ there who’s gonna tickle the twine quite like Andre Miller did Saturday night.
More than making up for the continued convalescence of Brandon Roy (hamstring), Miller mauled the Mavericks for a career-high 52 points (22-31) as the Blazers were extra good in extra time.
How manly was Miller? Greg Oden took pictures of him.
Sunday: Remembering Dick McGuire