NHL

Russian coach after loss: ‘Eat me alive right now’

Host country Russia suffered a devastating loss in the Winter Olympics on Wednesday, dropping a 3-1 decision to Finland in the men’s hockey quarterfinals that eliminated the host country from medal contention.

After the game, Russia’s head coach, Zinetula Bilyaletdinov, addressed questions from the media, and the Q&A was bizarre.

“What future, if any, do you see for your own work and the coaching staff?” a question began, according to the Wall Street Journal. “Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics …”

“Well then, eat me alive right now,” Bilyaletdinov interrupted. “Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.”

“But we have the world championship coming up!” a journalist exclaimed.

“Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me,” Bilyaletdinov said.

Finally, after much prodding, he conceded, “Yes, I will remain living.”

The Russian debacle started on Saturday when a go-ahead goal late in the third period in a game against the United States was disallowed on a controversial call. They would go on to lose in a shootout. On Wednesday, Russia couldn’t muster any firepower against Finland despite boasting offensive weapons such as Ilya Kovalchuk, Evgeni Malkin and Alexander Ovechkin.

The scapegoating began after the game, with Bilyaletdinov taking a veiled shot at Ovechkin when asked why his team only mustered eight goals in five games.

“Well, it’s difficult to explain why we didn’t score, especially the players who usually score a lot in their games, especially Alexander Ovechkin, who scored over 40 goals. I cannot explain so far,” he told reporters.

It’s quite possible that the host country was doomed from the start, as there were rumblings of discord between Malkin, Ovechkin and Bilyaletdinov, according to a SportsNet report.

The disappointment was profound amongst the players, with Pavel Datsyuk summing it up best.

“Inside, I’m absolutely empty,” he said via a translator.

Meanwhile, defenseman Anton Belov had no qualms throwing his fellow blue-liners under the bus, while absolving goalie Semyon Varlamov.

“It’s not necessary to say that the goalkeeper played bad,” he said of Varlamov, who allowed all three goals on 15 shots against Finland before being pulled. “It was mistakes by the defense and team.”

Ovechkin’s assessment of the situation appeared to be the most succinct.

“It sucks,” he said afterwards.