Sports

Jeter should have given fan big check for 3,000th hit

Money-ugly. Everything has turned — soured, spoiled — to money-ugly, a relentless aggravated assault on the better senses.

If right is right and wrong is wrong, here’s what Derek Jeter and his image-molders should have done — had to do — when Christian Lopez returned that baseball, no charge:

Jeter should have said, “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m writing you a personal check for $25,000 [or more], and I insist that you accept it and cash it. I will not take no for an answer. Here’s why, Christian: Me, the Yankees and our exclusive stuff-pusher, Brandon Steiner, are selling everything attached to this 3,000-hit thing. Everything. From the on-deck circle mat to handfuls of Yankee Stadium dirt.

“Let’s be honest. We’re pigging out on this. So how would it look if I jammed all this dough-for-nothing in my pockets — not that I need the money — while I accepted the one truly valued item as a gift, accepted it from a ticket-buying fan, no less?

“So take this check, me to you, with my thanks. It’s only right.”

That’s the shame attached to both Jeter’s 3,000th hit and his carefully crafted, finely polished and assiduously protected image. He’ll sell ya more than he’ll tell ya. And Jeter’s role in the Christian Lopez story just didn’t pass the smell test.

Jeter’s a terrific player; being the first to reach 3,000 hits only in a New York uniform is big. Still, while he’s extra careful about what he says to guard his image, he’d sell you his pregame-used Q-Tips.

And that just doesn’t fit all this Mr. Pinstripe Class propaganda. As reader Peter Pujols put it, why would such an extra image-protective star play the lead in “a memorabilia orgy?”

But in an age of money-ugly — when probing for the limits of how much money can be sucked from fans’ and fools’ pockets — why should Jeter act any differently? These days maybe it’s enough just to be called a class act.

Mickelson’s strategy talk must-see TV

What’s more fun than listening to risk-mismanagement specialist Phil Mickelson talking it over with his caddie, JimBones Mackay, while stuck in the gorse at the British Open? Shoot, Mickelson would take a hit on 20. And they let everyone know what they’re thinking — or not thinking — and that’s a gas.

ESPN’s Terry Gannon from yesterday’s British Open: “Even the Canadians are cold here.”

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Hey, get off John Sterling‘s back. OK, so after Derek Jeter‘s 3,000th hit he identified it as his 5,000th. But he got the home-run part right, and how often does that happen?

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Never heard from more who were so totally turned off by an All-Star Game telecast, the clutter, the intrusions, the no-shows, the in-game FOX promos and celeb interviews, the feel that this was more infomercial than baseball. Money-ugly.

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Shaquille O’Neal yesterday was added to TNT’s NBA studio show swarm. O’Neal’s a sharp, funny guy, but now it’s time to learn to stop mumbling.

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It’s one thing to invite Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis to be Michael Kay‘s interview on YES’s “Center Stage.” But to have Lewis, suspended for a year after copping an obstruction of justice plea in a double homicide — he paid a settlement to both victims’ families — cut a YES promo? Whose idea was that?

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The Giants’ Brian Wilson is another closer to carry a “lights-out” rep based on ridiculous save standards that award ineffective pitching. Though second in the majors with 26 saves, Wilson has allowed 39 hits and 22 walks in 43 innings. As firemen go, he’s highly flammable.

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Mike Francesa is through at Channel 4 on Sunday nights. Newsday reports that he wants more family time. Thus, we await word whether Bruce Beck becomes his permanent replacement. As for why Francesa would dismiss Jeter’s 3,000th as no-big-deal, that’s easy: There’s nothing in it for him. Imagine, though, if he and Jeter had the same agent.

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Hit it, maestro! As long as MLB invited Cee-Lo Green to entertain at its All-Star festivities, I was hoping he and Bud Selig would perform a duet of Green’s hit “F*** You.”

Bumbling Berman perfect fit for ESPN’s HR Derby

Because ESPN’s Chris Berman years ago chose for himself the image of a TV clown — the uncle who tells the same knock-knock jokes — the All-Star Game’s Home Run Derby, a sideshow, remains a perfect event for Berman to host.

And what did it matter, Monday, that the players wore microphones? Berman talked nonsense over them.

That a fellow better suited to emcee Faculty vs. Students Donkey Basketball is assigned to perform over events such as golf’s U.S. Open is one of those pathetic realities that expose ESPN’s sense of sports and sports fans.

And as another generation is led to believe that “Back, back, back” is Berman’s, shouldn’t he occasionally reveal that it’s taken from Red Barber‘s call of Al Gionfriddo‘s catch of Joe DiMaggio‘s shot in the 1947 Series?

In keeping with its nonsensical application of sports, ESPN now pitches MLB’s Home Run Derby — because it’s seen on ESPN — as something to take seriously. ESPN’s Bottom Line on Monday, on the Home Run Derby was best summarized by reader Fred Rosen:

“ESPN showed how many HRs each player in the Derby has at Chase Field in X number at bats. I don’t even know where Chase Field is. It was probably named Quack Quack AFLAC Field two years ago, and in another two years it might be the Switch to Geico and Save $450 Park.

“But the relevance of these stats? None, of course; the HR Derby is as far from a game situation as can be. A more accurate ‘stat’ would be how many they’ve hit there in batting practice!”

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In the wake of a funeral in Texas, how much more is it going to take? How many more deaths, injuries and near-misses? How do the companies that insure ballclubs and leagues allow it when it is such a clear, present and steady invite to tragedy? Why create, let alone sustain, systemic peril?

Stop shooting T-shirts into crowds, one and two-tiers up, with air cannons! People get bent out of shape — figuratively and literally — going after them. A guy/gal/kid in the front row or the aisle typically is shoved from behind.

Teams want to give out T-shirts? Great. Then give them out! Stop inciting feeding frenzies that have no place to go but down.