NBC-YA! Curry says goodbye as Al Roker, Matt Lauer and Natalie Morales look on. (‘Today’ show)
It wasn’t “Today.” It was a snuff film.
The “Today” show yesterday didn’t just fling Ann Curry, kicking and screaming, under the bus. The folks at NBC ran her over, backed up the monster truck, and, for kicks and giggles, executed her on live TV.
The show didn’t even display a single cheesy segment of her greatest hits, such as interviews with the Dalai Lama or Iranian chucklehead Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Or, to NBC’s distress, Curry jumping out of a plane and coming up alive.
Instead, she awkwardly came on the air at the end of the show’s second hour — and gave us the time!
“So welcome back, everybody. It’s 8:50 and, uh, this is not easy to say, but today is going to be my last day as regular co-host of ‘Today.’ ”
Serial killers, hookers and CBS failure Katie Couric get more respect.
Whimpering like a wounded puppy, Curry proceeded to issue a series of cringe-worthy apologies for turning into a “sob sister.” And she made it clear as crystal that being bumped from the show was not her idea.
“This is not the way I expected to leave,” she said. Sob. Sniffle. Sob.
“For those of you who saw me as a groundbreaker, I’m sorry I couldn’t carry the ball over the finish line. But, man, I did try!”
Sob. Honk. Someone, please, give this lady a hug!
Well, not Matt Lauer.
Matt stared off into the distance during Curry’s cry fest as if anxious for his tee time, his arm draped carelessly over the back of the couch.
Did I see a knife in his hand?
Curry said about NBC, “They threw fancy titles at me” to get her fingernails out of the furniture. The titles they threw — a carefully selected word coming from a woman who’s just been tossed under a heavy object — is NBC News national and international correspondent/anchor and “Today” anchor at large. It will enable her to do “the kinds of things most of us got into the business to do,” she said.
Whatever that means.
Later, it was written in cement that Curry was the scapegoat for ratings woes at “Today” that have seen the former morning giant virtually tied with ABC’s “Good Morning America.”
“Ann is a gifted journalist with a strong sense of service to her colleagues, peers and especially our viewers,” NBC News President Steven Capus wrote in an extraordinarily cold internal memo.
“In her new role, Ann will report on the global and domestic humanitarian stories that our viewers need to know and care about.”
Whatever that means.
“Simply put, she is the absolute best person for this job.” Ouch.
As Ann prepared to exit the set, Lauer seemed eager for her to get the heck out.
“You have the biggest heart in the business,” he said, as if the organ meant squat in a ratings war.
Al Roker gave Ann a teary bear hug as she left, but all Matt managed was an air kiss.
“Today” may be in trouble, but as the show will soon find out, it was not Ann’s fault. Who will they blame when it hits the cellar?
This is a lousy way to treat a lady.