When Beastie Boys sang “Girls, all I really want is girls” in 1987, they might as well have been describing the state of television in 2014. We’ve got “New Girl,” “Two Broke Girls,” the girls of “Broad City,” the upcoming “Girl Meets World,” and HBO’s critically acclaimed and much-blogged-about show “Girls.” But, let’s face it, as progressive as it is, the prattling on of Lena Dunham’s protagonist, Hannah Horvath, and her 20-something friends as they complain about guys, jobs and how hard it is to live in Brooklyn, gets a bit old after a while.
We’re here today to celebrate the under-appreciated aspects of “Girls”: the guys. They’re often used as side characters on the show, or foibles for the troubles of the female cast. But the likes of Hannah’s boyfriend, the recondite Adam (Adam Driver), or the cynically grumpy coffee shop manager, Ray (Alex Karpovsky), often drop some of the show’s most pointed truth bombs. Here, then, are the 10 best lines from guys on “Girls”:
Ray: “Maybe it’s because we’re both honest men.”
Adam: “Maybe it’s because we’re both kind of weird-looking.”
— from “Boys,” Season 2, Episode 6. This is the moment when Adam and Ray develop something resembling an actual friendship on the show. It happens as they’re on the Staten Island Ferry on the way to return a dog Adam stole. As the two discuss the problems with girls along the way, it also leads to Adam’s line: “Young girls are great. Young girls and older ladies. It’s the in-between ones that are the problem.”
And speaking of Staten Island . . .
“I was offered a three-way once. I turned it down because the girl was on Staten Island. These are attractive girls, too, nice girls.”
— Ray, from “Boys,” picking on everyone’s favorite punching bag of a borough.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were suffering from mental illness? That’s something we can work with.”
— David (John Cameron Mitchell), Hannah’s editor, from “Females Only,” Season 3, Episode 1, telling Hannah that she should open up more about her troubles to make her memoir more interesting. Because as the world knows, we need more memoirs from 25-year-olds!
“Just because I tasted her c - - and spit or could tell you her middle name or knew a record she liked, that doesn’t mean anything. That’s not a connection. Anyone can have that. Really knowing someone is something else. It’s a completely different thing, and when it happens, you won’t be able to miss it.”
— Adam, from “Females Only,” after telling Hannah about one of his past love affairs. Adam shows both his experienced past and his deeper side, which hopes for a longer future with Hannah.
“Let’s have the type of night where it’s 5 a.m. and one of us has definitely punched someone who’s been on a Disney Channel show.”
— Elijah (Andrew Rannells), Hannah’s gay ex-boyfriend, from “Bad Friend,” Season 2, Episode 3. (Hint: He and Hannah are talking about doing cocaine for the first time, which they do, grossly, off a toilet seat.)
“If you died, the world would blur.”
— Adam, from “Dead Inside,” Season 3, Episode 4. The episode revolves around (spoiler alert!) the sudden death of Hannah’s editor, David, for whom she is unable to gin up any mourning greater than the fate of her book. Adam, always the more functional adult in their relationship, extols his abilities to actually emote.
“You vibrate on a very strange frequency.”
— Ray to Shoshanna (Zosia Mamet) from “She Did,” Season 1, Episode 10. This is Ray admitting that despite an age difference and nearly polar opposite personalities, he finds himself attracted to her. It’s a nice way to say you dig someone, while still being too cool to just actually say it.
“Sorry, kid, readings are bull - - - t. I’ve never been to a reading where I didn’t want to strangle the f - - king person reading. Plus everyone’s drunk and acting like what they have to say is still valid.”
— Adam, from “Leave Me Alone,” Season 1, Episode 9, after Hannah invites him along to a reading. Of course, if you’ve ever dabbled in the literary scene, it’s no surprise that people in New York City have strong feelings for and against readings.
And spoiler: Hannah bombs at the reading, which kind of makes Adam right.
“I’ve been known to dabble in the Macintosh arts.”
— Ray, from “On All Fours,” Season 2, Episode 9, humorously skewering the preferred instrument of the freelancing Brooklynite denizens of the coffee shop he oversees.
“Is this the game? You chase me like I’m in the f - - - ing Beatles for six months, and then when I finally get comfortable with things, you want to shrug?”
— Adam, from “She Did,” after Hannah rebuffs his desire to get into an actual relationship.
Comment question: What’s your favorite line from “Girls”?