Hondo, engulfed by gross ineptitude, plunged deeper into the basement because of his 4-10, Week 5 jive. However, there’s no need to worry, folks. If his selections become too costly, Mr. Aitch will just take a page from the Obama playbook and raise the HondoNation debt ceiling.
Jets over Steelers: Rex’s marauding defense should have no problem getting to Roethlisberger, who’s becoming increasingly statuesque. Thus, the declining Steelers, who are winless on two continents this season, should be receiving much more than 2¹/₂, making this a good place to grab some green, gang.
From BarkingMut (of the SoBe BarkingMuts): After the Falcons’ foolish decision at the end of the first half to pass on a field goal that would have brought them within a touchdown of the Jets, it was clear there were two Blanks on the sidelines: owner Arthur, and head coach Mike Smith.
If you’re wondering why Geno was so good against the Falcons, rumor has it he was threatened that if he played poorly Rex would give him the Sanchez treatment — put him on the field with the second-team offensive line.
Raiders over Chiefs: Bill de Blasio announced last week he is “a fiscally conservative progressive.” If you’re wondering what that means, one of the Marx brothers — Krazy Karl — explained it best: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.”
Eagles over Bucs: Not everyone was happy to learn Letterman had signed on to keep the “Late Show” going through 2015. Curators at the New York Museum of Sex were hoping he would retire so they could procure his liberally stained Intern Love Couch for an exhibit.
Packers over Ravens: Have to go with the Pack on “JD’S 11th Annual Football Sunday,” which honors 9/11 victim Joey Doyle. The tribute, which will be held at the Z-Two Lounge on Staten Island, raises money for scholarships for students at St. Joseph by the Sea High School. Fun-loving Joey, a devoted Packers fan, pitched for Wagner College and was an employee of Cantor Fitzgerald. The party, which kicks off at noon, will feature plenty of football, food, raffles and auctions — including one for a suite at a Giants or Jets game — and won’t end until eight hours later when all the fun is done.
Lions over Browns: Hillary continues to insist Huma Abedin dump husband Anthony “A-Wad” Weiner if she wants a lead role in the next presidential campaign. Page Six quotes a source as saying, “Hillary is horrified by Weiner.” Guess that explains all the rumors about the Pantsuit’s proclivities.
Vikings over Panthers: Starting tonight at 10 you can tune into “Up Late With Angry Alec Baldwin” on MSNBC and when that’s done flip to the Dork on the Deuce, aka “Olbermann.” It’s a big night for possible train-wrecks.
Texans over Rams: Just a hunch, but Hondo is guessing Matt Schaub won’t put his record for throwing pick-6’s in consecutive games out of reach at five, which should help with the cover against the sacrificial Rams.
Bengals over Bills: Other than Matt Schaub, has any quarterback’s name inspired less confidence than Thad Lewis?
Seahawks over Titans: Christie Brinkley reportedly has sold her Hamptons house for $10 million. One note that hasn’t been reported: The buyer was advised by his inspector to have a hazmat crew give a thorough cleaning to the computer room where Peter Cook, Christie’s Internet porn-loving husband used to pull all-nighters.
Broncos over Jaguars: It’s a big number, but Frank “Love Dog” Gifford says lay the 27. In fact, Love Dog claims he laid 27 one night and it wasn’t that difficult.
Robert Kennedy Jr. says people shouldn’t get too down on Gifford for his various affairs over the years, explaining Giff, like RFK Jr., probably just succumbed to his powerful “lust demons.”
Cardinals over 49ers: It’s not all that surprising a 9-year-old boy made it past the TSA and grabbed a flight from Minneapolis to Vegas. The agents probably were busy conducting full-cavity searches of the elderly.
Saints over Patriots: Brady has so few weapons Gisele has asked all her friends to stop praying for Tommy and start praying for Gronk to start making a meaningful contribution! With the Saints playing like it’s 2009, it looks as if de Blasio’s “deep feelings” for the Pats will be hurt again this week.
Redskins over Cowboys: There’s a good reason Roger Goodell is more than happy to talk to the Oneida Indian Nation or anyone else about changing the name of the “Redskins.” The commish will do anything to divert attention from the NFL’s concussion issue.
Chargers over Colts: The Obamacare individual mandate, which requires everyone buy health care, continues to be a major source of contention. Republicans want to delay it for a year, but former ’Crats’ representative Barney Frank says you should never delay an individual mandate.
BEST BETS: Vikings, Bengals, Saints.
THURSDAY NIGHT: Bears.