Bloody hell, can anything restore “The Walking Dead” to its former gory glory?
At this point, the show is like a really hot, volatile boyfriend with whom you know you should call it quits. But no matter how many times he screws you over with the same old tired plot points, you keep coming back — in hopes that he’ll somehow become that super-nice guy who accidentally ran into you at Starbucks and then asked if he could buy you a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Sunday’s season premiere of “The Walking Dead” has no Pumpkin Spice Lattes. It does, however, have plenty of zombies getting gratuitously mutilated. So, if that’s why you watch the show — which, let’s face it, if you’re still watching it’s for that reason or just good ol’ fashioned masochism — then the new season will fulfill your savage needs.
The opener picks up an indeterminate amount of time since the end of last season. Having run away in an epic non-conclusion, the governor is nowhere in sight, but all those folks brought in on buses from Woodbury are here. That means there are more people than ever, which in turn means many more chances for you to fall in love with a glimmer of character development — which will likely end in abrupt destruction from a swift zombie chomp.
Our hero Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), fresh off some really heavy stuff like his wife dying — and then seeing creepy apparitions of her everywhere he looks — has taken to gardening to ease his mind. How quaint! Planting vegetables is both healthy for Rick’s well-being and, luckily for the viewers, a departure from his usual favorite activity of hurriedly walking to nowhere while fidgeting with a gun. Elsewhere, Rick’s son Carl (Chandler Riggs) has entered puberty. And now that he’s killed his own mother, he enjoys the finer things in life, like comic books. Luckily, Carl appears to have something else to do now besides sulk and not listen to his father, with so many youngsters joining the compound’s ranks.
Those kids provide what seems to be foreshadowing of conflict this season. They are now so unafraid of the zombies that they taunt them at the chain-link fence and name them like pets. Meanwhile, volunteers stand at the edge and systematically gouge the masses of zombies building up at the perimeter. It’s unnerving, and kind of feels unethical for some reason, which Tyreese (Chad Coleman) — meh, who cares, he’ll probably be dead soon — makes clear to the viewer.
“When they’re coming at you out there, it’s different,” he says. “I don’t even think about it. But when they’re stacked up against the chain like this, just face to face . . .”
Heavy-handed as the setup may be, it’s intriguing because it’s one we haven’t yet seen — unlike so many of the other arcs the premiere relies upon. There are even a few surprises. Those twists and turns are what keep us coming back. Much like when the crappy boyfriend suddenly shows up with a bouquet of flowers, “The Walking Dead” rewards patience and loyalty with the occasional arresting visual and edge-of-your seat intensity.
It’s just too bad we have to sit through so many cups of bodega decaf to get to the beloved seasonal latte.