First he came for your trans fats. Then he came for your salt and soda. If Mayor Bloomberg’s health initiatives continue, all we’ll be left with to eat is whatever’s in Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook.
No one could argue with the need for a certain degree of common sense when it comes to food choices, but critics of the mayor argue that his proposed bans have gone too far. And much of the food he’s singled out as evil has been the grub served by the city’s chain and fast-food establishments. It’s probably a no-brainer that something called the Baconator isn’t that great for you.
The truth is, you can get rich, fatty and salty foods at almost any restaurant, including the higher-end ones. We’ve sought out dishes that would make Bloomberg faint but that are evidently making regular New Yorkers very happy, because they’re selling in fine numbers.
To get an idea of the potential sins of each dish, we asked registered dietician Tanya Zuckerbrot, author of “The Miracle Carb Diet: Make Calories and Fat Disappear — With Fiber!” to take a look. Her calorie information and equivalencies should be taken as rough estimates.
Eat these dishes (in moderation) while you can. By 2020, they might have gone the way of a delicious dinosaur steak.
Foie Gras Grilled Cheese at Chez Sardine
183 W. 10th St., at W. 4th Street, 646-360-3705
What is it? Foie gras and melted, smoked cheddar sandwiched between buttery slices of Sullivan Street Italian bread, garnished with pickled onion and cucumber.
Price: $18
How many sold per week: 100
Estimated calories: 1,236
Why Bloomberg would hate it: Being a billionaire, he might secretly approve of the foie gras. Throw in some caviar and gold leaf, and he might completely come around. But c’mon, the sandwich is basically fat on fat.
Why we love it: It’s pure decadence, like the greatest high-end drunk food that you can indulge in soberly. Warm, oozy fat plus carbs.
Estimated equivalent: As much saturated fat as four Big Macs.
Mac ’n’ Cheese at Arlington Club
1032 Lexington Ave., at 74th Street, 212-249-5700
What is it? Thick pasta tubes stood upright, filled with a smoked Gouda sauce and topped with sage-garlic bread crumbs.
Price: $12
How many sold per week: 162
Estimated calories: 1,270
Why Bloomberg would hate it: This deadly mix of carbs and artery-hardening cheese is happening right in his own tony neighborhood.
Why we love it: It’s the first mac ’n’ cheese we’ve come across served vertical, so each noodle gets a share of cheese and crust.
Estimated equivalent: As much sodium as 14 small orders of McDonald’s fries.
Meatball at Lavo
39 E. 58th St., between Madison and Park avenues, 212-750-5588
What is it? A one-pound Kobe meatball slathered in sausage ragu and served with a crown of whipped sheep’s milk ricotta.
Price: $21
How many sold per week: 450 to 500
Estimated calories: 2,160
Why Bloomberg would hate it: Features an entire pound of beef and is an appetizer — case closed.
Why we love it: No one can walk away hungry from this softball.
Estimated equivalent: The fat of an Uno Chicago Grill pepperoni deep-dish pizza.
Mmmm Bacon Milkshake at Slide
174 Bleecker St., between Sullivan and Macdougal streets, 212-777-9077
What is it? House-made maple ice cream is blended with 6 ounces of rendered bacon fat, maple syrup and for good measure, a shot of bourbon. The drink is garnished with cinnamon-sugar and a strip of maple-glazed bacon.
Price: $7
How many sold per week: 150 to 200
Estimated calories: 2,109
Why Bloomberg would hate it: He could build a fourth-term campaign around this drink, which combines three vices in one: ice cream, booze and lard.
Why we love it: The city’s decade-long bacon boom has brought reasonably few pork-flavored desserts, so this shake is a welcome addition. It’s savory, it’s sweet and the alcohol doesn’t hurt one bit.
Estimated equivalent: As much fat as eight Shake Shack single cheeseburgers, two days’ worth of your recommended daily allowance.
Half-pound Deep-Fried Bacon at Fatty ‘Cue
50 Carmine St., between Bleecker and Bedford streets, 212-929-5050 and 91 S. Sixth St., at Berry Street, 718-599-3090
What is it? Coriander-rubbed bacon that’s been cured for five days, smoked, fried and topped with a sweet coriander syrup.
Price: $19
How many sold per week: 70 to 100
Estimated calories: 1,180
Why Bloomberg would hate it: It’s a cardiologist’s nightmare, packed with fat and sodium.
Why we love it: Er, for the same reason Bloomberg hates it. Pigtastic!
Estimated equivalent: Almost as much sodium as a large order of KFC popcorn chicken.
Meat Poutine at Mile End Deli
97A Hoyt St., at Atlantic Avenue, 718-852-7510 and 53 Bond St., between the Bowery and Lafayette Street, 212-529-2990
What is it? Russet potatoes are cut and twice-fried, then topped with cheddar cheese curds and a chicken stock-based gravy. Scraps of smoked beef brisket are scattered on top.
Price: $12
How many sold per week: 150
Estimated calories: 1,100
Why Bloomberg would hate it: Hizzoner would deport this heart-stopping combo back to Canada. Would it have killed them to add some kale?
Why we love it: The premium ingredients elevate this dish notches above the greasy bar food it appears to be.
Estimated equivalent: As much sodium as two orders of Wendy’s Chili Cheese Fries.
Murder by Burger at Marble Lane
355 W. 16th St., between Eighth and Ninth avenues, 212-229-2336
What is it? A semi-secret, off-the-menu towering sandwich consisting of 8 ounces of Pat LaFrieda beef, Comté cheese, a fried egg, smoked bacon, grilled tomato, a slice of avocado, wild mushrooms, fried onion rings and steak sauce, all balanced on a sesame-seed bun.
Price: $26
How many sold per week: 20
Estimated calories: 1,300
Why Bloomberg would hate it: Just look at that list of fat-packed ingredients. Serve with a 20-ounce soda, and you might be looking at jail time.
Why we love it: In a town where restaurants are constantly trying to one-up each other in the crowded burger game, this one might have a shot at the trophy based on audacity alone.
Estimated equivalent: As much fat as nine KFC drumsticks.
Peanut Butter BBQ Ribs at Hudson Common
356 W. 58th St., at Eighth Avenue., 212-554-6217
What is it? Boneless pork ribs atop slices of thick Texas Toast, slathered with house-made peanut butter, topped with salt-and-vinegar potato chips.
Price: $12
How many sold per week: 62
Estimated calories: 1,190
Why Bloomberg would hate it: “People of New York, illegal guns are the biggest issue facing our city. The second is restaurants combining pork and peanut butter. This dangerous practice must end,” we imagine Mr Mayor would say.
Why we love it: The smokiness of ribs and the creaminess of peanut butter meets the crunch of potato chips. Like an haute version of a deranged sandwich a child would build at lunch.
Estimated equivalent: As much saturated fat as two servings of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream.
