These teeny weenies finally got to rise to the occasion.
Kings County Bar in Bushwick put on a puny- penis pageant yesterday to prove that some good things do come in small packages.
Six cocky contestants showed off their Slim Jims in evening wear and swimsuit contests and a talent show — for a chance at gherkin-size glory and a $200 cash prize.
And these guys were all nuts.
One 55-year-old divorcé who called himself Rip van Dinkle flew in from Minnesota to shake his shrimpy spigot before 100 onlookers.
The afternoon began with the evening-wear competition, where the men donned tiny tuxedo banana hammocks as well as sashes.
Then they wore skimpy mesh mankinis for the swimwear round before facing hard-hitting questions in the talent round.
Sugar Daddy, a single, 32-year-old competitor from the East Village, aimed to cast off his short-stack shame. “It’s a small world after all,” he said.
Perry Winkle, 35, of the East Village, claimed he’s a grower, not a shower — and that size doesn’t matter. “It only means as much as you let it,” he said. “Own it!”
Nick “The Delivery Man” Gilronan, 27, a UPS worker from Queens, waltzed out with his junk in a trunk during the talent round.
“I’m hoping this will look brave to guys who have self-esteem issues and make them feel better about themselves,” he said.
Gilronan was crowned the “wiener” with his mighty three-incher as Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” was sung by a local musician. “We love small penises,” said Rachel Lieberman, 24. “Well, looking at them.” “I’m going to Disney World!” he cried.