Feeling tired? Irritable? Does the mere mention of words like “art” or “pop” give you a migraine? There’s no need to call your doctor, because Dr. Phull (music critic and in-house physician at The Post) can diagnose you right now. You’ve got a severe case of Gaga-itis. I should know. I’ve got a pretty strong dose of it myself. And man, it’s a killer.
The promotional campaign for Lady Gaga’s fourth album has been relentless. In the past two weeks alone, she’s cried at the YouTube Awards, been seen wearing a flying dress at her “Art Rave,” announced she’ll be singing in space and talked endlessly about an app that very few people are going to use. It’s been like an increasingly annoying Banksy residency — but with no end in sight.
The New York native opened a Times Square branch of H&M just after midnight on Wednesday night. It sounds relatively sedate, but this is Gaga we’re talking about. Don’t be surprised to see her turn up on a giraffe before cutting the ribbon with an industrial chain saw designed by Jeff Koons.
The point of any album launch is to alert the public that there is a product to buy, so a certain amount of overexposure is to be expected. But with “Artpop,” the attention-seeking has been unmatched and reached a breaking point this week with the actual album itself. Save for the catchy lead single, “Applause,” the R. Kelly collaboration “Do What U Want” and the odd album track such as the sole ballad “Dope,” “Artpop” is a huge anticlimax.
The dominant dance-pop theme doesn’t move her forward musically, and even Gaga herself reductively referred to it as a great “gym” album. Really Gaga? You’re taking up all of our screens just to sell us a glorified Zumba soundtrack? After weeks and weeks of thinking we were going to get the best thing since sliced bread, Gaga has essentially served a load of sliced toast.
Her interviews haven’t helped the process, either. Gaga is nothing if not honest when talking about recovering from hip surgery, being addicted to marijuana, and enjoying what sounds like a varied sex life. These are all experiences she has put into her album and for a brief moment, and such revelations make the songs marginally more interesting. But if the songs aren’t up to scratch to start with, talking about the nitty-gritty details behind them won’t save them from obscurity in the long run.
Lady Gaga often gets compared to Madonna, and overexposure is another thing they have in common. It’s forgotten now, but the sight of Madonna during the late ’80s was so constant that it made you want to scream — whether it was causing controversy for the “Like a Prayer” video or trying her hand at Hollywood. At one point, Madge also played the too-much-information card by grossing by openly talking about toe-sucking as safe sex. All in the hope of getting the world to look at her.
But unlike Gaga, she was also able to keep the hits coming. The sound of songs like “Open Your Heart,” “Express Yourself” and the still magnificent “Vogue” meant you could tune out the other nonsense. Right now, it’s hard to do that with Gaga. Even the once enjoyable “Applause” has been ruined by the decision to use it in a Kia Soul commercial. Now I can’t hear that song without thinking of hamsters working out.
So what is the cure for Gaga-itis? Well, Dr. Phull is sad to inform you that medical science has nothing to offer. Gaga herself is the only person who can make things better by cutting back on the stunts and the promotional appearances, and actually write some good songs. She’s working too hard on being a celebrity but not hard enough on being a musician.