Sex & Relationships

Appliances might trump roses this Valentine’s Day

Listen up, New York men! Cancel those flower orders. Return that bra from La Perla. Turns out what your girlfriend really wants this Valentine’s Day is . . . a juicer.

At least that’s what women want according to a recent study by dating website carrotdating.com. The website, which offers singles gifts in exchange for dates, polled 1,372 single female members on what under-$250 gift they’d like for Valentine’s Day. The top result was a juicer (24 percent), followed by a Keurig coffee maker (20 percent) and a tablet (17 percent).

What ever happened to roses and chocolates? Are women just very caffeine deprived? Aren’t they getting their juices from Organic Avenue?

Nope. “I was given a top notch Vitamix [last] Valentine’s Day,” says novelist Tracy Quan. “I am still deeply grateful to the gentleman who dragged me across the road to Bed Bath & Beyond to get it.”

But surely flowers would also have been nice?

“Yes, flowers are always lovely,” concedes the Upper East Sider, “but the cucumber smoothie I had this morning was really excellent.”

But Park Slope resident Meghan O’Keefe disagrees. The 28-year-old comedian says she used to dismiss flowers as unimaginative but has since had a change of heart. “There’s something really sweet about a

dozen roses or a cheesy Valentine if it’s done in absolute sincerity,” she says. “It’s a very innocent gesture that reeks of puppy love, and that can be appealing in today’s cynical world.”

Besides, she says, “it’s nice to get anything.”

Still, perishable gifts — while pretty on the day — do tend to be temporary. More practical gifts have the advantage in that they can continue to provide the receiver with happiness well into the next year. After all, she’ll think of you every time she makes a delicious smoothie!

“Flowers die, and the last thing I need is chocolate,” confirms Amanda Chatel, a 36-year-old writer from the East Village.

Other traditionally “romantic” gifts also have the potential to go horribly awry.

“One year I got [my girlfriend] lingerie from Agent Provocateur and a chess clock — so that when we had discussions we could both have equal time,” says Brendan Sullivan, a 31-year-old DJ.

“My friends begged me not to give her the clock. When she opened the presents she loved the clock and thought it was a thoughtful way for us to communicate,” adds the Fort Greene resident. However, “the garter belts and knickers fit perfectly, but she couldn’t fit into the stockings and burst into tears — because therefore she must be fat.”

Good thing he skipped the chocolates.

But household goods aren’t your only surprising option. “If I was given a juicer I’d stare at it for hours wondering where I could hide it so [I’d] never have to deal with it again,” says Chatel. “On the other hand, a trip somewhere — like, say, Thailand or Brazil — would be the winning ticket for me.”

Matchmaker and relationship expert Amy Van Doran says the key with winning at Valentine’s Day is specificity. “Nothing says ‘I love you’ better than picking a gift that demonstrates, ‘I listen to you,’ ” she says. “So if your lady or gent is a health-conscious person, chocolate is definitely not a good present . . . thoughtfulness will always impress, regardless of your budget.”

Though, of course, asking your beloved what they’d like isn’t the worst plan, either. They might surprise you and say, “Flowers.”