When the mayor of Belmar, NJ, blasted Staten Island as the epicenter of the obnoxious “guidos and guidettes” who were ruining his quaint seaside town, most saw his stereotype-filled tirade as a thinly veiled racist rant. MTV, however, saw reality-TV gold.
“We think of Guidos as a kind of rare bird: They flock to our shore towns during the warm months and are as welcome as, oh, Canada geese,” wrote Belmar mayor Kenneth Pringle in his now-defunct newsletter last year. “They’re always tanned to the color of coconut shells, and easily identified by their plumage: satin shirts and short skirts on the females; Armani Exchange T-shirts and artfully distressed jeans on the males.“
And, boy, do the cast members of “Jersey Shore,” which debuts Thursday night at 10, fit the bill. All but two of the eight are from New York — and three hail from Staten Island. Only one actually lives in the Garden State.
For the guys: Tight wife beaters, check. Spiky gelled hair, check. Plenty of ’roid-rage fights, check.
For the girls: Tramp stamps, check. Fake boobs, check.
And with the exception of Pauly D, who has his own tanning bed at home, they all appear to own platinum memberships at the local tanning salon.
“Grab your hair gel, wax that Cadillac and get those tattooed biceps ready to fist pump with the best this summer at the Jersey Shore,” promises MTV’s promo. “There’s no spray tan too orange, no hair too spiked and no bod too tight for this crew.”
Based in Seaside Heights for eight weeks, the “Jersey Shore” crew hopped from club to club, ranging north to Belmar south to Atlantic City — making an unmistakable ruckus at Karma, Bamboo, Headliners and innumerable local bars.
“There was lots of drama,” says cast member Pauly D, who hails from Rhode Island and had never been to the Jersey Shore before. “Don’t let the spiked hair fool you. Sure, we’re pretty boys — we do our hair — but we don’t back down to anyone.”
Pauly D, a notorious ladies man, works out an hour a day and takes 25 minutes to spike up his hair. For him the shoot was filled with hook-ups, and he focused on women who “had to have a really nice body, a nice pretty face and keep in shape.”
The ambitions and activities of the three other men on the show — Mike, a k a “The Situation,” Ronnie from The Bronx and Vinnie the mama’s boy — don’t stray far from Pauly’s: hit the beaches, hit the clubs, hope that a cute girl will take you home. If you strike out, release your pent-up sexual energy by picking a fight.
The three ladies — Jenni, Angelina and Sammy — are happy to doll themselves up and await the mating calls of their brethren. While their outfits leave little to the imagination, they’re just as tough, if not tougher, than their male counterparts. One unidentified female cast member got punched in the face by a drunken Long Island man when she confronted him about stealing her drink at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Seaside Heights.
Jenni, nicknamed “J-Wow” for her curvaceous body, lives on Long Island and has a penchant for motorcycles. She loves the “tall, dark, handsome and tattooed” men who frequent the Shore. She also likes to tease them.
“I like to make them think I’m interested, and then I shut them down,” she says. “These type of men are douchebags, and they think they have a shot and they don’t.”
The worst pick-up move she saw at a club?
“I had some guy walk up to me and bite me on my shoulder to get my attention.”
Most of cast members embrace the notion that they are “guidos.” “I’m proud to be Italian. I’m proud to be a guido,” Pauly says.
But many seethe at a portrayal of young people that suggests all Italian-Americans are party-fueled, self-obsessed fighters.
“It’s a total disgrace and a complete insult to Italian- Americans,” says Andre DeMino, president of UNICO, a national Italian-American organization based in New Jersey. “They use the pejorative term ‘guidos’ and highlight their offensive behavior: fist pumping, their obsession with their hair and how they look, and constant fighting — even hitting women.”
DeMino has called for the show to pulled from MTV’s programming — and requested a sit-down to discuss the show with MTV management.
In a letter to DeMino, MTV defended its position, saying “The Italian-American cast takes pride in their ethnicity, and that, in fact it is a key driver of how they bond with each other and self-identify. They refer to themselves as ‘guidos’ in a positive manner.”
“I’m a guidette — I have dark hair, I have the personality, I hit the clubs,” says J-Wow. “You have to have a strong personality. You have to look good. You have to be physically fit, have the tan, be on trend.”
And to Mike, guido merely “means you’re a good-
looking Italian man.
“We’re Italian, we have spiky hair, we go to the gym,” says Mike, who works out at least 10 hours a week. “I like myself so much that you have to expect that a couple of people are going to hate you.”
Milestones in New Jersey history:
1609 – Henry Hudson discovers Cape May. Within five years, Dutch settlers arrive and live in makeshift huts, but only because their ship caught fire. Residents get a taste of what’s to come when New Netherland governor Willem Kieft is fired for incompetence.
1765 – Reuben Tucker opens his Tucker’s Island home to boarders, creating the Jersey Shore’s first-ever beach resort. In 1940, the entire island is washed away by extreme storms.
1776 – George Washington crosses the Delaware River under cover of night, capturing most of the Hessian army at Trenton. In yet another foreshadowing, he makes another risky crossing to get back to Pennsylvania as soon as he can. Eleven years later, New Jersey becomes the third US state.
1876 – Thomas Edison opens his Menlo Park laboratory, leading directly to the New York City blackout of 1977.
1915 – Frank Sinatra born, finally giving Hoboken a reason to exist.
1916 – In the span of 12 days, a shark attacks five people down on the shore. The only one to survive is a New Yorker.
1948 – Hairspray invented.
1949 – Bruce Springsteen born.
1951 – New Jersey Turnpike opened. By running the road through some of the state’s swampiest and most industrialized regions, builders inadvertently supply generations of New York City comics with surefire material.
1973 – Bruce Springsteen releases “Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ.”
1976 – The Meadowlands Sports Complex opens, creating a reason to visit the area other than dumping bodies and toxic refuse.
1986 – Jon Bon Jovi challenges Springsteen to a blue-collar duel when he sings about striking dockworker Tommy and waitress Gina in “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Millions of New Jersey residents identify and rush out to buy “Slippery When Wet.”
1987 – Medical waste from StatenIsland and several raw sewage spills decide to summer at the Jersey Shore.
1997 – David Chase sets the pilot for “The Sopranos” in New Jersey, lending the state a classy new image.
scahalan@nypost.com