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All hail Party Queen Pippa!

Prince William married the wrong sister.

The most fascinating com moner to parachute out of musty old England and land, head first, in the straitjacketed House of Windsor does not wear a tiara or a veil.

On special occasions, she wears barely anything at all.

In terms of grace, poise and sheer, undeniable hottitude, serene Princess Kate faces fierce competition from unexpected quarters: her little sister, Philippa Charlotte “Pippa” Middleton. She rocks.

Pippa, 27, flew onto the international radar just over a week ago, serving as maid of honor at her big sis’ wedding. In no time, the wild child hogged the spotlight, all but obliterating the staid and stodgy future British queen from the world’s imagination.

All it took was a sexy bridesmaid’s dress so form-fitting and elegant, she made Kate, 29, in a baggy lace number, look as if she were hired to sweep up Buckingham Palace.

Pippa followed the act with a dirty-picture scandal that, by Paris Hilton standards, looks tame. At least she’s trying.

To Queen Elizabeth, however, the snaps were said to be enough to drive the dame to a very large liquor cabinet.

Go, Pippa!

Or, said my pal Sherry, speaking for New Yorkers and commoners everywhere, “Pippa is too cool!”

Already, the cowl-necked, curve-hugging gown that Pippa knocked out of the park at the royal wedding, sketched by the same designer that did her sister’s dress — Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen — has eclipsed Kate’s. Pippa’s frock is now set to be the most-copied dress of the wedding.

But it’s not all about the fabric.

“She wore it so well,” enthused Andrew Hops, vice president for JS Collections, to The New York Times.

She’s also capable of wearing less, and doing it well. A photograph has emerged showing Pippa dirty-dancing in a lavender brassiere and white skirt, with a pasty man who grinds against her wearing nothing but boxer shorts. His hand clutches Pippa’s bare belly, covered only in a deep, winter tan. (Or is it a spray tan?) In another photo (right), Pippa wears a dress made of toilet paper, a bottle of booze sits in the foreground.

The photos are at once exhibitionistic and controlled, as Pippa comes off as leading the bacchanalia. (Contrast these images to those of her and Kate’s brother, James, 24 — dressed in drag, exhibiting his bare backside, and with his hand down his boxers. The queen reels.)

The crown has made a whopper of a mistake. And the error was not that it allowed underclad party people into the mix.

The royal wedding was offered up to the masses as proof that the monarchy, hobbled by years of divorce and unhappiness, is capable of moving with the times — egad! Kate wasn’t a virgin! And yet, the crown staked its future on young Kate, a woman genetically incapable of making a mistake. In contrast, Pippa’s coquettish errors were made with a smile.

Kate waited eight years, enduring William’s infidelities, to bag the prize. I can’t imagine Pippa standing for such a thing.

Plus, she’s more fun.

Submissive women never fare well among the Windsors. Poor, tragic Diana was an innocent doe in headlights when she was offered up to Prince Charles, like a lamb to the slaughter. I think of Pippa as a girlier version of a young Camilla, all sporty and domineering with her riding crop and boots.

Of course, being the younger sister of a monarch allows one to screw up.

Don’t change, Pippa.

A KILLER INSTINCT


President Obama showed courage and decisiveness I didn’t think he possessed, ignoring far-left creatures like Michael Moore who’d rather kiss Osama bin Laden than shoot him. Obama ordered the killing of the coward who ripped out the heart of lower Manhattan.

On Thursday, people who didn’t voted for Obama, didn’t support him, had writtenhim off, stood 10-deep near the World Trade Center site to cheer him. I was with them.

There is work to be done. The economy must be fixed and terrorists brought to heel —by waterboarding, if necessary. But for now, I believe Obama has the instincts necessary to do the job.

Make me proud again, Mr. President.


Perfect time to end LIFO support


Mayor Bloomberg intends to close a gaping budget gap by laying off, among others, thousands of teachers. It’s time to eliminate insane union “last in, firstout” rules. If not, incompetents and bozos will be the only ones left to educate your kids.


Save this music mecca

Arthur Ashe and The Beatles played at the West Side Tennis Stadium in Forest Hills. And, way back when, I saw the Monkees, who didn’t really play their instruments, in concert there. Jimi Hendrix was the opening act.

I was too little to remember. But moms went crazy that Hendrix, who years later died of a drug overdose, was hired to open for the equivalent of Justin Bieber. Now the stadium, which also hosted Frank Sinatra and the Rolling Stones — not to mention the US Open — is set for demolition, after the Landmarks Preservation Commission denied the sagging center landmark status.

Any old shack can get landmarked in this city (provided the site is not to be used as a mosque). Why not the wacky and storied tennis stadium?


A ticket to slide for Bx. prosecutor

Jennifer Troiano’s climb up the prosecutorial ladder has not been slowed a whit by a pesky drunken-driving arrest. An assistant district attorney from The Bronx, Troiano was picked up last August, stumbling after an accident on the Major Deegan Expressway. Allegedly, she was roaring drunk. A trial is imminent.

This follows an infuriating 2009 incident in which Troiano was hauled into the 44th Precinct on suspicion of drunken driving — only to have the case magically disappear after someone called arresting officers on her behalf. Still, Troiano is seen as fit to prosecute a whopping 75 cases, The Post reported.

Someone needs to investigate Troiano for the alleged fix. And fitness for duty. If not, how can anyone take the law seriously?

No sympathy for this Giant mess

Ex-Giant, fired “Today” show host, and miserable human being Tiki Barber was having trouble getting out of bed, he told The Post.

Tiki lost everything after he was caught cheating on his wife — for two years. At the time Tiki was discovered to be a cad, his wife, Ginny, was eight months pregnant with twins. Evidently, Tiki’s girlfriend, former NBC intern Traci Johnson, is as crummy at math as Tiki is at marriage.

Now 36, he’s trying to make a comeback on the football field. Maybe he’ll finally get out of bed.