Despite an impressive literary pedigree, a fitfully amusing “The Switch” — Hollywood’s third artificial-insemination comedy of the year — ranks somewhere between the barely watchable “The Back-Up Plan” and the good but wildly overrated “The Kids Are All Right.”
The hapless Jennifer Aniston may have top billing here, but the story revolves around a character played by Jason Bateman, an ace supporting actor who can’t quite carry a movie — as the handful of people who saw “Extract” a year ago can attest.
Bateman plays the neurotic Wally, the best friend of Aniston’s Kassie. Once romantically involved, Wally’s still carrying a torch for his gorgeous, long-ago girlfriend.
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But being mysteriously single, Kassie has decided to get pregnant using sperm donated by Roland (Patrick Wilson), a married man.
As in the New Yorker short story by Jeffrey Eugenides on which the movie is loosely based, the deed is performed at a party where Wally, having had a few too many drinks, accidentally spills Roland’s seed and has to make a quick substitution.
Eugenides’ story ends with the birth of Wally and Kassie’s son, but “The Switch” is unfortunately just getting started.
After giving birth, Kassie decamps to Minnesota, and eventually back to New York, with 6-year-old Sebastian (Thomas Robinson) in tow.
I want to pause here to note that neither Wally nor Kassie look a day older and, more importantly, the world around them does not appear to have changed a whit during these six financially parlous years proceeding the “present day.”
Though long out of work, Kassie instantly lands a plum job in network television. Wally has somehow held onto his position in the financial sector despite a tendency to show up drunk at his boss’ apartment at 2 o’clock in the morning.
What follows is basically “About a Boy” for dummies as Wally, who has forgotten about the child’s drunken origin, bonds with Sebastian. But Wally gradually remembers after noticing the kid shares hypochondria and other obsessive traits with him.
This may be the first movie to feature a head-lice montage.
Kassie is preoccupied with throwing herself at the newly available Roland (whom she was not previously interested in). Even for a comedy, Kassie’s relative lack of interest in her son’s activities is shocking, and her reaction when she finally learns about the ruse is surprisingly muted.
She’s less a flesh-and-blood character than a plot device, and Aniston’s utter lack of chemistry (comic or otherwise) with Bateman doesn’t help matters.
Perhaps Josh Gordon and Will Speck, the auteurs behind “Blades of Glory,” weren’t the ideal choice of directors for this comedy, which tries to be more than a sitcom but keeps falling back on cheap laughs.
They do get an inspired performance from young Robinson as the unfortunate child.
And from the little-seen Jeff Goldblum, who steals every scene he’s in as Wally’s non sequitur-spouting boss/wingman.
Aside from those two, “The Switch” is pretty much stillborn.