When are the suits in Hollywood going to figure out that reality shows about “the glamorous world of celebrity PR” are doomed to fail?
It didn’t work for powerhouse celebrity publicist Lizzie Grubman, (“PoweR Girls” on MTV) who went from celebrity publicist to annoying celebrity, publicist and ex con.
It hasn’t worked for Kelly Cutrone, whose Bravo show “Kell On Earth” (which may not be renewed) makes the fashion PR biz look like hell on earth.
So, why make a reality show about publicists who promote celebrities’ products or pay celebrities to endorse products? Two words: Kim Kardashian.
Yes, the woman who is such a publicity hound she should be in the Westminster dog show, is the exec producer of “The Spin Crowd.” The fact that glamour shots of Kardashian appear several times in just the first episode should tell you something. Or everything, actually.
The series follows the fake office goings-on of the publicity house run by a bore (and close Kim friend) named Jonathan Cheban. Think of him as “The Devil Makes Everyone Else Wear Prada.”
He chews with his mouth open, talks with his mouth full, debases his staff and acts like a celebrity kingmaker, not a product pusher, which is what he really is.
“The Spin Crowd” is the latest in the line of reality shows about sexy, young things who work for monster/jerk bosses, but put up with the abuse because the biz is allegedly glamorous. (What is Kim trying to tell us?)
A “typical” day in the company’s new LA office starts with Cheban, his deputy Simon and the babe posse sitting around a conference table dreaming up ways to promote a cheesy-sounding product, Monte Carlo self-tanner.
Of course, just putting it on the show is free publicity, so his work is done, thank you. It’s double-dipping at its most blatant.
Anyway, Cheban immediately starts picking on the newest hire, Erika, telling her to dress more like co-worker Lauren, who is wearing a thin chiffon camisole with her breasts falling out. Literally. Talk about dress for success!
Cheban calls Erika “homely” and tells her she needs to get her lips enlarged by a doctor, which makes her cry — but she does it! It is gender discrimination at its most horrific.
In “retaliation,” his roommate/deputy Simon convinces Jonathan to get his love handles frozen off with, yes, some great new product.
But the staff’s big victory comes when it convinces Mario Lopez — who won’t use the product himself — to host a Monte Carlo self-tanner party for an undisclosed sum, and have “Extra” cover this historic event in tanning history. They act as though they’ve negotiated a Mideast peace agreement.
I think I need to call the cops. I know I’ve just been had.