Attention all conspiracy theorists: On Sunday night, you will either forever drop your ideas about alien autopsies in Area 51, or you will decide that the government has finally told the truth about what’s there — by making up more lies.
Based on the book “Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base,” the special sets out to demystify and demythify just what the hell did go on (and still does) out in that desert base since the early 1950s.
But remember this is Area 51 — not Roswell, the site of the “alien” crash. That’s several years and 688.6 miles away from “51” — or two light years door-to-door by alien craft.
Personally, I am very disappointed to discover that all those flying saucer sightings were test flights of super-secret stealth spy planes that could take photos from 90,000 feet up while traveling at 2,200 miles per hour.
Since the men (yes, only men) who worked at Area 51 have finally been freed to speak, what they say is not as intriguing as tales of aliens among us. But it is gloriously glamorous enough to make a retro-1950s/’60s TV series.
Speaking for the first time are Albert Wheelon, then-deputy director of the CIA, daring test pilots Ken Collins and Tony Belacqua and head of security, Richard Mengles.
Did they ever see aliens? Just of the Russian sort — when they were spying. Did they ever deconstruct an alien craft? No — but they did manage to deconstruct a Russian MiG.
Fascinatingly, the 2,000 men who worked in total secrecy developing radar-immune aircrafts — kept it all from their wives and families. Talk about literally being under the radar!
One of the men actually told his wife and kids he was a TV repairman — and she believed him.
That military spy plane, by the way, was made of titanium, which could not be had in the US. So, where did they get the material? From Russia — who they built the planes to spy against in the first place.
Somebody call AMC — there’s a whole “Mad Men“-in-the-desert series about guys living secret lives while building secret aircrafts just begging to be made.
Interestingly, even though you will think you’ve heard it all by the time its done, “Area 51” ends with one guy saying, “But I’m only telling you about 5 percent of what went on there. Seriously.” Now I’m thinking aliens all over again.