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Taylor, the Kennedys are just not that into you.
I pray that lovely Taylor Swift snaps to her senses and runs like the wind from the mob of rotten drivers and ruthless, overentitled hooligans who dominate a family called Kennedy.
Like much of America and places beyond, I watched in fascination and horror as the fair country singer Swift, 22, offered herself up as a sacrificial lamb to a clan desperately in need of a reputation cleansing.
A close, personal bond, or whatever junior celebs call their public and private canoodling, is blossoming as we speak between Swift, a woman without scandal or wrinkles in her near future, and Conor Kennedy, the son of RFK Jr. and the late Mary Richardson Kennedy.
Run, Taylor!
It’s not just that a Kennedy armed with driver’s license and a Lexus poses a known public emergency. Or that, at the tender age of 18, Conor has turned young Swift into something of a cougar. What makes the union all the more disturbing and weird is that Taylor was set up and pimped out by Conor’s grandma, Ethel, widow of the slain Robert F. Kennedy.
At 82, the lady has survived both her late husband’s philandering and assassination. She’s buried two sons, one killed by drugs, another from skiing while playing football in the trees. She’s endured unnecessary heartbreak caused by remaining family members who’ve never been held accountable for a single sin they’ve committed. She’s also a devoted Swift groupie.
Or at least she believes Taylor’s good looks, fine breeding and exceptionally white teeth have the power to salve a family rotting at its core. The Kennedys need Taylor, like the married John F. Kennedy (and Ethel’s husband, Bobby) needed Marilyn Monroe. And that ended in tears.
They need her more than she needs them. But what about love?
Like a pack of vampires, the clan is sucking up Taylor’s glamour and beauty, something the Kennedys lost forever after the tragic, and reckless, death of John F. Kennedy Jr. at the controls of a plane.
Get out now.
The relationship began less than two months after the latest grotesque scandal to hit a family that virtually invented the modern term.
In May, Conor’s mom, Mary, hanged herself by the neck at her home in Westchester. Her husband, RFK Jr., was divorcing her, and publicly squiring actress Cheryl Hines. Mary feared destitution and was threatened by her faithless hub with the loss of her kids and her home. She felt desperate and alone.
Now she is dead.
Friends have written and called to express fear that Taylor is heading in the same direction as myriad women who got mixed up with a family for which crime always pays.
Mary Jo Kopechne drowned off Chappaquiddick as Ted Kennedy swam from a car wreck — then enjoyed breakfast before reporting her missing the next day.
And Mary Kennedy’s best bud, Kerry Kennedy, cheated on hub Andrew Cuomo and risked the lives of motorists by driving while under the influence of Ambien. Then she blamed a “complex partial seizure,” caused by bungee jumping out of her college dorm window, for the wreck. Sure.
“Just as Mary Jo Kopechne was passed around between Bobby and younger brother Teddy, so it seems the cousins are passing around Taylor Swift,” one alarmed reader wrote — referring to Taylor’s relationship earlier this summer with Conor’s cousin (and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son) Patrick Schwarzenegger.
“When are you going to warn Taylor Swift that she’s playing with fire?”
My pal Tish Ferguson said, “Rich, gorgeous women have flocked to that family for generations. In the end, their voices were silenced and their beauty trashed because they were nothing more than props used by the Kennedys to deflect public attention away from repulsive systemic family behaviors.”
Taylor is now said to be shopping for a house in Hyannis Port, next door to the Kennedy compound.
Remember late Ted’s former wife, tragic alcoholic Joan Kennedy.
Don’t do it!
Chick-fil-A ‘kiss-in’ gets only lip service
The kiss-in was a bust.
Record numbers of chicken eaters descended on Chick-fil-A’s around the country last week. At the Paramus Park Mall in New Jersey, it took up to an hour to get a sandwich.
Diners weren’t bashing gays, as New York City’s lesbian-in-chief, Christine Quinn, saw it; they came out instead to support Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy’s right to say, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family.’’ Even The New York Times ran an op-ed written by a gay man supporting Cathy’s right to free speech.
Meanwhile, a “Same-Sex Kiss In’’ held at the restaurants Friday drew only a scattering of participants nationwide. At Chick-fil-A’s home in Atlanta, turnout was slight. In Paramus, two straight women kissed each other’s cheek. At night, three couples locked lips.
Free speech is treasured in this great nation, even when we don’t like the message. Get used to it.
Director facing a career in ‘twilight’
Faithless Kristen Stewart will be forgiven. But her director/lover, Rupert Sanders, is destined to spend the remainder of his career in a hairnet.
Sanders, 41, directed the 22-year-old starlet in “Snow White and the Huntsman,’’ then cheated with her under the nose of lover boy Robert Pattinson. Now he’s received an ultimatum from wife Liberty Ross: Don’t direct the “Snow White’’ sequel or our marriage is kaput, reported RadarOnline.
Stewart appalled “Twilight’’ tweens by confessing to her romp with the dad of two. And Universal Pictures is considering another director for “Snow White II.’’ Is Sanders getting harsher treatment because he’s married? Hardly. Stewart, again talking to Pattinson, is the bigger star.
Ah, true love. Or something. In Hollywood, the box office knows best.
Suri is upper ‘class’
Six-year-old Suri Cruise reportedly will soon attend the posh, new $40,000-a-year Manhattan private school Avenues. It’s near the Chelsea pad she shares with mom Katie Holmes, and isn’t the boot camp favored by daddy Tom Cruise, wrote Life & Style magazine. The long Scientology nightmare is nearly at an end.
Or it will be, once Suri’s Type-A parents stop compulsively carrying the oversized child every time she screams. Let the kid walk on her own.
Fortunate hue turn
She’s a babe!
Patricia Krentcil, New Jersey’s orange-faced tanning addict, went cold turkey from her carcinogenic hobby for a month. She looked 100 years younger in snaps published in In Touch magazine.
Krentcil, 44, pleaded not guilty to child endangerment for allegedly bringing her 6-year-old daughter into a tanning booth. Keep away from the light, Patricia. The grossed-out public thanks you.