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“Soooooo, did he call??!!”
The proverbial postdate question is no longer, well, proverbial.
Now it’s: Did he text? Did he e-mail? Did he IM? Did he (gasp!) Facebook?
Even worse than having to check all your devices is trying to decode what his chosen mode of communication means about his interest level.
Allison Williams’ character on “Girls” coined it the “Totem of Chat”: “The lowest, that would be Facebook,” she declared, “followed by G-chat, then texting, then e-mail, then phone.”
Three new dating methods are now capitalizing on all levels of the Totem:
DATING BY PHONE
Launched by Elle magazine’s longtime relationship columnist E. Jean Carroll, Tawkify pairs up singles via a short, 10-minute-only phone call on Monday nights at 10 p.m.
For $15, you fill out a brief online questionaire and wait for the phone to ring.
Thankfully phones are mobile these days, as I waited two weeks before receiving a call. First I heard from a robot named “Mr. Brooks” (think Siri, with an Adam’s apple), who was calling to tell me they’d found me a match “worthy of my sprightliness and beauty,” and should take my phone off vibrate around 10p.m., lest I miss my call from a guy I knew very little about.
That night, the phone rang right on time. My suitor sounded a bit robotic. Like Mr. Brooks, in fact. Turns out, he just had a British accent, which led to talking about traveling, which led to talking about NYC, which led to the call dropping midsentence at 10:10 on the dot. Just like that. No goodbye. Nada.
The following day, one of E. Jeans’s matchmakers called to tell me that I “bewitched” my suitor in the short time allotted, and he was requesting my number rather than be connected again through the service. I happily obliged, but soon enough, what began as a Top of the Totem connection fell a notch when he sent a text, along with his OkCupid handle for “screening purposes.”
So much for the good old-fashioned phone call.
DATING BY TEXT
Every day at noon, dating service Coffee Meets Bagel e-mails participating singles a free “bagel” (a k a a potential match), which you have 24 hours to “like” or “pass” based on a brief online profile.
If you each click “like,” you’ll be connected via text message, which you have to draft your clever self. (Oh, the pressure!)
After “liking” bagels and submitting witty one-liners for weeks and not getting a response, I decided to try the one-word approach on my next match and went with “Ciao!” Lo, I got a text back. (Clearly bagel membership is more plain than everything.)
He asked about my recent trip to Italy, which I mentioned on my CMB profile.
“Truly amazing and 2much 2 pack into a text,” I wrote.
His follow-up? “Would you mind sending me an e-mail?”
Well, at least this time we moved up a notch on the Totem.
DATING BY FACEBOOK
Finally, there’s Circl.es, which taps into the Totem’s lowest groove, Facebook, by mining the social network’s data for “like”-minded, participating singles.
On the one hand, the free service has the most potential because, well, everybody’s already on Facebook. I love the idea of not having to list my five favorite books one more time. (Groan.)
On the other, not every potential Romeo on Facebook is on Circl.es (yet), and I’ve been trolling friends-of-friends profiles for years. This doesn’t seem much different. Only lazier, but hey, sign me up!
The service only offered eight potential matches who fit my generous criteria. And if dating is a number’s game, eight isn’t enough. Increased membership might help in the long run, so I’ll stick with it.
To be honest, though, I’m still hopeful to meet a guy who just walks up, asks for my number and calls me…maybe.