Right now, Super PACs are pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into negative ads in the presidential race. These ads tear down the candidates, informing us that they’re incompetent, untrustworthy and borderline sociopathic.
That’s great.
It’s good that so many Americans (and possibly non-Americans) donate money to the worthy cause of informing us how bad politicians are.
Still, I fear all these negative ads will not be enough to counter the extremely destructive and diabolical (though luckily rare) positive ads.
The mere thought of one of these positive political ads chills my soul. Either there is a voiceover as the politician meets with hard-working Americans, or the politician looks directly at the camera with his soulless eyes and tells us that we can trust him to fix our problems and strengthen our nation.
I don’t even know why these are legal. You can’t shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater, so why should a politician in a country drowning in debt be allowed to shout, “Trust me”?
You’d think all the negative ads telling us, “No! He’s evil! He wants to destroy the economy and punch puppies in the face!” would counteract these few positive ads, but people still fall for them.
Look at our bloated government, our countless regulations, and our military engaged in constant conflicts overseas — did we get all this because we listened to the negative ads about our politicians, or because we somehow got it in our heads that we could trust them? After every election, the negative ads stop, and we start to get that fool notion that we can rely on these people.
Plainly, we can’t just leave it to Super PACs to tear down politicians: It should be every American’s job, all year round.
Do we need exorbitant amounts of money from unknown sources to tell us not to hug angry badgers? No, we’ve learned that by word of mouth from our friends, families and neighbors. This is how we should know not to trust politicians.
But we need to start young. In school, right after kids learn not to take candy from strangers, we need to teach them not to listen to politicians: “If a politician asks for your money, don’t give it to him. And if he tries to trick you and instead asks for other people’s money so he can buy you presents, just get away from him as fast as you can. Catch a ride in a stranger’s van if you have to.”
We also need volunteers to continue informing people how bad politicians are, even in non-election years; too many folks now have the ridiculous idea that they can trust the people running the government.
Many folks don’t trust politicians from one side of the aisle. It’s like they know not to trust a crack addict to watch their kids, yet don’t see anything wrong about dropping the kids off at the meth addict’s house.
And once we convince everyone that all politicians are bad, some will ask, “Then whom do I vote for?” Smack them, because they still don’t get it. You don’t vote for any of them. It’s like having a choice of what kind of cancer to get: You’d just pick whichever one you think you’re most likely to survive.
Just remember that, after that new politician takes office and says, “Now I’m going to work hard on our nation’s problems and get our economy and job growth going again!” you respond: “Just keep your hands where I can see them, and don’t make any sudden movements or spending decisions.”
Frank J. Fleming is a political humorist.