Tubular!

It’s 10 a.m. on a sunny Saturday, and dozens of perky patrons are chattering in lines. Decked out in shorts and T-shirts, they’re waiting for the go-ahead to claim a giant ring of rubber — that deceptively simple, satisfying piece of “sports” equipment better known to leisure lovers as an inner tube.

The friendly scene is taking place at Delaware River Tubing, located about 90 minutes from New York City in Frenchtown, NJ, off Route 29. Something of an inflatable empire — 2,500 wannabe tubers are expected by end of day — it’s bustling with upward of 80 employees, including owner Greg Crance, a beefy former Marine weaving through mountains of Pepto-pink tubes, with a commanding presence.

Group by group, the go-ahead is given, and tubes are snatched up. Next, shuttle buses are boarded carefully, as everyone brings their tubes with them for the laziest three to four hours their lazy bums could ever imagine.

“Pack it in like doughnuts!” shouts a male bus driver with a scraggly, hippie-looking ponytail. Toto, we’re not in Midtown anymore.

After a 10-minute ride to the river, tubers wait on another line to get to the boarding zone. Once in front, groups are situated on the river with ample help from able-bodied young men.

From there, it’s smooth sailing — er, floating — in water that rarely gets deeper than 4 feet. While tubes start out clustered, nature takes it course as the fresh water flows and the floats separate, giving people plenty of breathing room.

Crance, after years in the business, found that many customers’ attempts at sticking together — tying tubes with ropes — were both a pain in the neck and risky. (If your tube-mate goes under, guess who’s joining him?) So in 2009, he created the Stay Together Strap ($2 to rent), a strap similar to that on a life jacket, which is easily looped around two tubes and then attached with snaps. To disconnect, you simply unsnap. Abandoning your loved ones has never been so easy.

Trying the straps are 43-year-old Pamela Rhoades of Glenside, Pa., and her family — her husband, Richard, and their kids, Cameron, 5, and Quincy, 9 — who were celebrating a small lottery prize she’d won the day before.

“We’ve never gone tubing,” Rhoades says enthusiastically midway through the route, where tubers stop for lunch on a rocky beach. “We love it. We love the comfortable pace.”

Just off the beach is a floating hot dog stand, another Crance creation. Tubing admission includes a choice of two grilled hot dogs or one hamburger, plus chips, a soft drink or lemonade, and a frozen candy bar.

“We came for the hot dogs,” jokes Camille Paredes, a 26-year-old from Jamaica, Queens. “No, really. It’s relaxing and a great getaway.”

After the scarf-down, it’s back into the water for a couple of more hours of relaxation. When the ride is over, it’s back on the bus — “Pack it in like doughnuts!” a bus driver loudly reminds them.

For Crance, a day at Delaware River Tubing isn’t about any one thing. It’s about time on the water, being in nature and the people you spend it with.

“Tubing is like life,” says Crance, pausing to let his words settle in. “You do it for the ride, not to get to the end.”

Open daily through Sept. 9; weekends only in September. Trips start at $26.16 and include lunch. It’s $12 to buy Crocs for those who forgot water shoes or sneakers. 2998 Daniel Bray Highway, Frenchtown, NJ; 908-996-5386; delawarerivertubing.com

TUBE WITH TWIST

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