Food & Drink

What a load of crepe!

Bring on the new Tavern on the Green! Yes! The new operators picked by the city, Emerald Green Group, promise locally sourced raw materials served in a landmark setting that “respects” Central Park.

But to get a whiff of what the team has done so far, we journeyed to Philadelphia’s Beau Monde — its only other restaurant. Surely, Mayor Bloomberg’s functionaries checked it out top-to-bottom before tapping them to relaunch Tavern next year under a 20-year license.

Or did they? The place that will spawn a reborn, 500-seat Manhattan institution is a 65-seat corner creperie that’s minor-league even by Philadelphia standards. That’s right, folks, crepes — “Breton-style” buckwheat pancakes stuffed with everything from smoked trout to coq au vin to Cajun gumbo.

The brunch-around-the-clock joint has a fast-food feel, bathtub-warm red wine and toilets as cold as a freezer aisle. And while Parks Commissioner Adrian Benepe claims the owners “have done an outstanding job in Philadelphia,” our savvy friend in the City of Brotherly Love describes Beau Monde and its attached L’Etage “nightclub” as “total nonentities on the hospitality scene.”

We all want Tavern on the Green back in any form after three years of scandalous city mismanagement that left a gaping dark hole in the park. I hope the Philly guys are the ones to do it. But exactly what qualifies them for the task?

Could it be cronyism? In case you missed The Post’s recent exclusive, partner Jim Caiola’s sister is married to Bloomberg’s friend, former deputy mayor and campaign manager Kevin Sheekey, who’s now a top honcho at Bloomberg LP. (All, of course, deny any favoritism.)

Could the Sheekey link maybe, possibly, hypothetically, mean Caiola and partner David Salama will have an easier time making peace with ruthless Local 6 union boss (and Bloomberg third-term re-election backer) Peter Ward than Boathouse operator Dean Poll did at Tavern? Last year’s collapse of talks with Poll — who merely wanted reasonable work rules — so embarrassed City Hall, there’s no telling what it might do

to reopen the place.

But let’s talk about Beau Monde as a restaurant. Philadelphians don’t seem to flock there in huge numbers — seats are available on opentable.com just about any time, and it was half empty Saturday night.

Web site photos make the place look a lot grander than a cookie-cutter tavern festooned with gold-leaf botanical prints by Salama himself.

The staff, friendly enough, seemed eager to go home; waitresses twice tried to sweep away our appetizers, which had arrived five minutes earlier, to make room for entrees.

Salad greens looked and tasted out of a supermarket bag. The jumbo square crepes were fine, but fillings — “Cajun” shrimp; creamed spinach and grilled chicken; and shrimp with seafood sauce — had the formulaic, starch-bomb heft of thickened canned soup.

They’d wow college kids on a date. But they sit oddly with the fancy-pants, locavore-themed menu promised for Tavern, e.g., “free-range chicken in marjoram-cumin marinade, fresh cranberry beans and blistered tomatoes, shishito peppers and cippolini.”

It’s the dream of Katy Sparks, a former college classmate of Caiola, who’s to be Tavern’s executive chef. She’s had no greater admirer than me — I awarded her three stars each at Manhattan’s Quilty’s and Compass.

But high volume isn’t her forte. She didn’t stay with any eatery for long. She hasn’t run a restaurant kitchen in eight years, having switched to consulting, including for “food service giant Sodexo,” her Web site says.

What about L’Etage upstairs from Beau Monde? It bills itself as a “nightclub, cabaret, performance space, party space and wedding venue” — uses forbidden at the new Tavern.

And for a “hot” night spot, it can seem awfully not. Saturday, L’Etage hosted DJ Urban Spin, billed as “Dance the night away with all of your favorites from back in the day.” It might have been the quietest such affair since the birth of recorded music; we didn’t hear a sound or see a soul coming or going all night.

Jim, David and Katy: Central Park awaits your magic touch.

scuozzo@nypost.com