Out from under the cover of secrecy and darkness at last comes the Grandiose Tebow Experiment, unveiled Sunday before a curious, rabid and long-suffering audience at JetLife Stadium hoping against hopelessness that this will not prove to be some freak show publicity stunt from a franchise that hasn’t sniffed a Super Bowl in 44 years, but a stroke of genius that will defy the naysayers and shock the world.
It would give the Rex Ryan Jets the credibility they have fumbled away, and dissuade the carnival barkers in the media from bellowing:
Ladies and gentlemen and Tebowmaniacs of all ages, we bring you:
The one … the only … Wildcat.
This is the Jets’ opportunity to show us that they are something more than the Greatest Show on Earth, that they go by the name of the New York Jets Football Club for a reason.
This is when we all get to see whether new offensive coordinator Tony Sparano has concocted a Ground- and Poundbreaking plan in his underground laboratory that can revolutionize offensive football and convince me that this isn’t some Stupid Jet Trick gimmick that, at best, will sometimes confuse the defense and sometimes confuse the offense and, at worst, is a conspiracy to grease the skids for the eventual jettisoning of Mark Sanchez.
Sanchez, who by now undoubtedly has nightmares in which he is being sawed in half by a magician bearing a strong resemblance to Woody Johnson, has been instructed to fly the Jet, and as he nears touch down, he sometimes will be asked to slide over and hand Tebow the controls.
It is no way to run an airline, much less a respectable NFL offense.
There was no Wildcat when Joe Namath played, but there is one now, and if Ryan and Sparano can somehow make this baby work, more power to them.
This better be a mentally-tough Sanchise who reports to work today, because if he isn’t, and he starts coughing up the ball again, and renders Ryan’s beloved defense and Mike Westhoff’s elite special teams moot, the Tebowmania tidal wave will drown him, and the quarterback controversy he dreads becomes inevitable.
“”Here’s the thing about this offense — they don’t have to be a top-10 offense to win 11 games,” CBS analyst Rich Gannon told the Post. “The thing I like about Tebow is I think he can be the Mariano Rivera of this team.”
For Tebow to close out the fourth-quarter with a save, Sanchez will need to show up as Bob Gibson. Gannon knows that it is “critical” for Sanchez and his embattled offense to get off to a fast start.
“I’m just saying I think it’s going to be so hard to manage this situation,” Gannon said. “We’re not just talking about some backup quarterback here. Every time he does something, it’s a national story. I think it’s gotta affect Mark at some point.”
The question is if and when Tebow’s cult following affects the decision-making of Ryan and Sparano. And Gannon points out that Tebow is used to playing somewhere near 65 snaps a game. Human nature is certain to take over when he enters the game.
“He doesn’t want to come out,” Gannon said, “and doesn’t think he should come out. I’m just telling you the guy’s an ultra-competitive guy.”
The problem, we know, isn’t Tebow’s competitiveness. It’s his arm.
“I would say it’s a work in progress,” Gannon said.
And so, alas, is the Jets’ Wildcat.
“It’s a balancing act,” Gannon said.
It is highly doubtflul that the Bills and Wildcat guru/quarterbacks coach David Lee will show up sleep-deprived from endless hours preparing for the Wildcat. So somebody get me the headset and allow me to devise a wrinkle or two:
Sanchez and Tebow line up with John “Terminator” Conner in a full house backfield of some variation. Sanchez and Tebow line up side by side, either available for the shotgun snap. Sanchez, with Connor serving as a bodyguard, takes the snap and either throws a pass for the end zone or pitches to Tebow, who runs behind Conner or throws it. Or Tebow takes the snap and pitches to Sanchez, protected by Conner, and Sanchez throws it for the end zone. Or Tebow lines up behind Sanchez, side by side with Conner, and takes a pitch and runs behind Connor or throw it.
“Formationally, it’s better when Sanchez is flanked out wide,” said Gannon, who will be in the CBS booth today alongside Marv Albert. “If Sanchez goes out, that safety has to cover him and now you’ve got a seven-on-seven.”
Understood. But I worry about the safety trying to knock Sanchez into Eva Longoria’s lap. Then what?
“When 15 comes into the game, all eyes are gonna be on 15, probably more than 6,” Gannon said.
Bingo! Then if you line them up side by side, just snap it to Sanchez and have him throw it. Tebow acting as a decoy.
Or …
“You could see Mark in the gun,” Gannon said. “Tebow is lined up in wing formation, on the outside of D’Brickashaw Ferguson, in a tight slot. Right before the snap, Mark motions him into the backfield. Sanchez fakes it to Tebow, steps back and throws a fade route to Santonio Holmes.”
And maybe, just maybe, the Jets starters finally will score a touchdown. And maybe, just maybe, Tebow will be the one scoring it. Either way, it’s time to start Tebowing.
steve.serby@nypost.com
Costello’s Call
The Bills enter the season with high expectations, but I’m not buying in. The Jets have dominated the Bills in recent years. I think it continues. The Jets put up 31 points total in the preseason. They match it today.
JETS 31, BILLS 10