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Heavenly creatures

For Alan Charles, a 52-year-old who lives alone on the Upper West Side, the grief has been unbearable since he lost his 90-pound black Lab, Flash, to cancer in 2002. So unbearable, in fact, that it’s taken him eight years and over 100 weekly therapy sessions to heal.

“The loss to me was more heartbreaking than the loss of my mom,” he says. “The grieving extended for years.”

Finally, in 2010, he was able to move on and adopt a black Lab mix named Boo-Boo. “The therapy was helpful,“ he says, “But with any loss there’s [still] a deep sadness.”

For Leslie Chase, months of private grief therapy did little to help her cope with the death of her 15-year-old terrier, Tina, from heart disease. And even 13 years later, “that agony is still there,” she says. “I still think of her every day.”

Thankfully, she has found some solace in writing a children’s book about her pooch called “Tina, The Teeny Tiny Terrier.” Still, she vows to never get another dog. “There’s enough tragedy in life,” she says. “I don’t want to go through that again.

The death of a beloved dog or cat isn’t easy for anyone, but it can be especially hard for pet owners in the city, says Allison M. Lloyds, a licensed New York City psychotherapist. She’s worked with numerous patients struggling with the loss of a pet.

City pet owners, she says, often rely heavily on their dog or cat to ease the sense of alienation and sadness that can come with urban living; when that pet dies, the loss can loom especially large. “Many of my clients feel lonely and isolated living [here],” she says. “To [them], their pet was an incredibly reliable and consistent source of unconditional love and support often spanning many years.”

When a friend or family member is struggling with this type of grief, it can be difficult to know what to do or say. Here, some tips from the experts and those who have been through it:

Do…

* Keep it short and simple. “If you’re not sure what the exact right thing is to say, just express your condolences,” says Lloyds. You don’t have to be poetic or original, just sincere. A simple, heartfelt “I’m sorry for your loss” can be “incredibly meaningful.”

* Think of something thoughtful. “Giving that person a picture of their pet in a nice frame is a great way for someone to honor their memory,” says Jackie Palatt, 29, a Long Island City resident who still struggles with the death of her family’s golden retriever more than a decade ago.

* Mind your manners. “People would say such insensitive things, like ‘Traveling will be easier now [that] you don’t have to board Cocoa up or find a pet sitter,’ ” says Rachel Slavin, 33, of Kew Gardens, who recently lost her family’s beloved chocolate Lab.

Don’t…

* Ask about getting another pet. Chase recalls people inquiring about her getting another dog and how hurtful it was. “It’s like forgetting your pet had a soul and a personality.”

* Minimize the loss. “Never say, ‘It was just a pet! Don’t be so upset,’ ” says Lloyds. You might not be able to comprehend or fathom the importance of the pet in your friend’s life, but don’t let that “get in the way of being empathetic and compassionate.”

dlewak@nypost.com