Entertainment

Katie vs. Steve

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With all the new talkers showing up on daytime TV, the two that everyone is really talking about are Katie Couric and Steve Harvey.

Harvey began his new show last week, and Katie debuted her’s yesterday, putting them in head-to-head (or make that mouth-to-mouth) competition.

But if yesterday’s debut of “Katie” — which has been in the works since Buddha’s first birthday — is any indication, let’s declare an immediate big fat, nolo contendere, baby.

Right out of the chute, Steve gets it. Katie doesn’t.

Why? Couric is a truly gifted TV person. She has that rare talent — she knows how to get great guests and how to interview them.

Best, she refuses to compete with the ridiculous beauty-contestant strippers who are passing themselves off as journalists on TV these days.

So, why in hell, after a year of planning, did Couric begin her new talk show with an excruciating 30-minute, Jessica Simpson infomercial for Weight Watchers?

Not that Simpson is a great “get” to begin with — or to begin a new show with. But bringing on Simpson’s personal Weight Watchers coach to discuss the points system? Brutal!

I was so bored, I ran right out and bought a big, fat knish on the street in protest.

Harvey, on the other hand, has actually created something fresh. Better yet, something really funny.

The guy’s a stand-up comic and game-show host, and those things alone mean he doesn’t need a partner.

So far, his afternoon show has been laugh-out-loud hilarious and, thank you Jesus, devoid of idiot celebs pushing products.

Harvey’s idea of a good guest? Last week, he had on balls-in-a-bag fitness trainers who swung around their balls in a bag, and Harvey did the same. Tears-down-your-face funny.

I mean, in a medium that is desperate to attract Oprah Winfrey’s female audience, how often do you hear someone yell while exercising, “One of my balls is longer than the other!”

Oh, wait, I know. Never.

Then, there was the mother who thinks it’s a good idea to breast-feed until her son is not just old enough to cross the street by himself but to direct traffic.

Interesting and intriguing, yes, but with Harvey chipping in during the interview, it was flat-out fantastic TV.

Couric, on the other hand, seriously discussed weight gain and how Weight Watchers makes a difference. Balls out, nobody was having any fun.

Her idea of big laughs was to start the show with a bad-dream skit that ended with Matt Lauer waking up next to her.

Couric’s second guest was Sheryl Crowe, who’d written the show’s theme song.

Your kids are so cute, your song is so great, no your kids are so wonderful, your new show is so great.

What about, “Did you ever suspect Lance Armstrong was juicing when you were together?” The unasked question lay like lox on a plate.

Where is the woman who delivered Sarah Palin’s pate on a platter?

Wasn’t Couric the person who said she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life just interviewing celebrities?

Harvey has a way with real people (or, as Couric called us yesterday, “normal people”).

We all know that Couric has the goods, yes. It’s just puzzling why she didn’t deliver them yesterday.

Where was the great debut a la Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan?

But there is hope.

Later this week. E L James, author of “Fifty Shades of Grey” (who looks like Rudy Giuliani in drag), guests. Now that’s hard to beat, no pun intended.