PARENT-TRAPPED: As Lindsay (left, downtown this week) makes headlines, mom Dina enables the star’s descent into ruin. (
)
When will the party end for Dina Lohan?
It’s hard to find a speck of sympathy for Lindsay Lohan, who has lately moved her one-woman crazy act from LA to New York, cutting a swath of destruction, depravity and potential doom in the wee hours, when sane adults are counting sheep.
At 26, Lindsay has traded her youth, her looks and her last shred of the public’s patience for a me-first party lifestyle that ends weekly in the news and on the police blotter with the celebutard’s battle cry, “It’s not my fault!’’
Well, she learned from a pro.
With a mother like Dina, Lindsay was doomed. For Dina is a momster who, at age 50, has long competed with Lindsay’s stardom and enabled her, sponged off her, and tacitly encouraged her child’s addictions by behaving like Linz’s best frenemy when the girl badly needs a mom.
Dina, get some help. Leave Lindsay alone!
Dina’s insatiable appetite for the limelight that’s reflected off her famous spawn led her to appear on TV with Dr. Phil McGraw — sweating, slurring and jerking her body to the point where I feared she was suffering a televised seizure. Fed up with the act, Dr. Phil called her a “phony.’’ She responded with her middle fingers. It was 10 a.m.
“Are we rolling? Are we rolling?’’ she continually asked. “It feels so hot in here!’’ When Dr. Phil queried Dina about her ex-husband, Michael, she said with a weirdly fetching smile, “I feel like we’re on a date.’’
With the show, broadcast within days of Lindsay’s latest escapades in New York, Dina accomplished the unthinkable: She made Lindsay’s creepy dad, who has done time for securities crimes and driving infractions, and who was charged multiple times with assault, appear like the responsible parent.
“Instead of a talk show, go to rehab! Sober up and learn to stop using our kids as pawns,’’ Michael Lohan lectured via Radar Online.
Dina denied she was drunk — on “Entertainment Tonight”: “I was extremely upset.’’ Mmmkay.
Dina has also denied to Matt Lauer that Lindsay had an all-access pass to rehab. She blames an LA judge, the media — anyone but Lindsay — for her woes. But Dina had the gall to bring cameras from “ET” to peek at Lindsay in a rehab center, which must have done wonders for her recovery.
Dina introduces herself to strangers not as Lindsay’s mom, but as her personal assistant. She boasted she once tried to pick up an uninterested George Clooney by disguising herself as a Lindsay staffer.
“I don’t want [him] to know I’m her mom,’’ she said.
Manhattan psychotherapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil finds the competitive edge disturbing.
“Yes, Dina is a big enabler,’’ she said. “It appears she lives vicariously through the fame of her daughter, perhaps because she didn’t have the life of fame and luxury of money while growing up. She may be starstruck, and in some way threatened by her daughter.’’
The high jinks that led Linz to be the most feared and despised celeb in LA continued in New York last month, when she was arrested at 2:30 a.m. outside a club at the Maritime Hotel, accused of hitting cook José Rodriguez’s leg with her Lexus SUV. This made serious people wonder: Why the devil doesn’t this dame employ a driver? But the car bump was not visible on a surveillance video, and Lindsay claims it never happened.
Then, a week later, lightning struck again. At 5:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning, Lindsay tussled with a low-level congressional staffer she met at 1Oak. She said she got hurt as she tried to make Christian LaBella surrender photos and videos he secretly made. She called cops, but they treated her like a disease. No arrests were made.
Lately, Dina has set her sights on molding into a star Lindsay’s younger and less talented sister, Ali, 18. Shockingly, Ali has lately looked emaciated and years older, sparking talk that the young woman suffers from an eating disorder.
Her mother, of course, denies this.
The enabler must be stopped.
Wisdom in gay-custody ruling not ap‘parent’
Brook Altman gave birth to her daughter, conceived with a sperm donor, in 2006. Brook’s partner, Allison Scollar, adopted the girl. But in the harried quest to reproduce, one thing is too often forgotten: the child.
The mommies split up. Now, in a first-in-the-state ruling that seems more political than maternal, Manhattan Family Court Judge Gloria Sosa-Lintner has awarded full custody of the tot not to her mom, but to Scollar, who is not a blood relative.
“It’s a step closer to the gay community being acknowledged as parents, Scollar, 50, told The Post. She made my point.
Was mom Altman, 47, a lousy nurturer? Not really. Altman, wrote the judge, “behaved more as a friend than a responsible parent.’’
What does the kid want? Does anyone care?
Brooklyn unbound
Brooklyn has arrived.
The been-there, done-that crowd was giddy. Brooklyn’s own rapper Jay-Z fought back tears. He opened the stunning new Barclays Center Friday night to a crush of celebs (Rihanna! Magic Johnson!), 18,000 ordinary folks, and Manhattanites who, days earlier, couldn’t find the Borough of Kings on a map.
The hard-won arena now stands to eclipse Madison Square Garden as the place to be. Barbra Streisand is playing here. Justin Bieber. Lady Gaga. The Who. And basketball’s Nets.
A woman in a Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn T-shirt and carrying a protest sign was overheard outside Barclays plotting her next move.
“I’m going to the Jay-Z concert tomorrow night,’’ the anti-arena activist cried.
Welcome to the center of the universe.
Beware of little devil
Queens gym teacher John Webster, 27, weighs 220 pounds and stands 5-foot-10. Webster claims little Rodrigo Carpio, who, at age 6, was 4-foot-2 and 50 pounds, went caveman on the ex-college football player, fracturing his ankle and forcing him to see a shrink for stress.
Now back at PS 330, Rodrigo’s mom says he’s on medication. But Webster doesn’t want to face him. “This kid is clearly a tiny terror,’’ Webster’s lawyer, Andrew Siben, told The Post.
How does a bear protect himself against a vicious Chihuahua? In this school system, very carefully.
No-laughing matter
This is serious. Seth McFarlane creates some amusing bits, such as TV’s “Family Guy” and the movie “Ted.” He also was probably the least funny host in the disastrous history of “Saturday Night Live.”
Now, in a move designed to get nongeriatrics to watch the Oscars, McFarlane has been hired to host the show. It will end in tears.