What will brown do to you?

Show of hands: Who thinks that sitting on a wobbly camp chair in the rain and wind for nearly ten hours a day, watching half-ton Alaska brown bears lumber by, sleeping in a tent and having freeze-dried food for dinner sounds like a good time? Anyone who’s still paying attention, well, have we got a summer vacation for you!

The McNeil River area, down on the Alaska Peninsula, 250 miles southwest of Anchorage, is the largest known gathering of brown bears in the world, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game. And if you’re very, very lucky, you can go hang with them for a few days.

Getting in on the action is not all that easy. Admission to the refuge — allowed only during the summer months — is by lottery only. And then, once you do win the lottery, there are considerable costs involved, not to mention a mountain of logistical issues. And, of course, there is also the small matter of hanging around a whole bunch of big creatures that do not necessarily care for your company.

But, good news! During the 40 years that the department has been operating this remote facility, no visitors have been maimed or killed — a possibility when dealing with the brown bear, a group not known for its playing-well-with-others-ness. (Trips into the viewing area are limited to parties of 10, each accompanied to the viewing area by an armed staff member. It’s like being on safari in Africa, but generally with less sunshine.)

Say you do win — applications for next summer are due December 1, by the way, and the selection process takes place over the winter — your 4-day visit starts with a briefing from camp staff at 9 AM. The guide will go over the plan for the day, covering weather, tides, clothing recommendations, etc. The view sites are a couple of miles from camp, and the 1-2- hour hike, while not especially demanding, does require the ability to walk over rough, muddy trails and through thigh-deep water.

Visitors and camp staff hike out to the viewing site together in the morning, spend the day viewing bears, and return as a group at the end of the day. If you get out to the falls and find you’ve forgotten your lunch or a piece of gear, or you’re tired of watching bears after a couple of hours, that’s too bad. (If you want to become the camp pariah, try screwing up a day’s worth of world-class bear viewing by forcing an early end to the day because you forgot your rain gear.)

While you’re at the viewing site, there can be as many as 60 bears within view at one time. Through generations of conditioning, they know that while people are on the gravel pad viewing site, they are not permitted to set foot on it. They can stroll by on the trail and wander behind the visitors at literally spitting distance, but any attempt to cross the invisible line separating them from you is met by quick defensive actions by the refuge staff. They’ll step to the edge of the pad to reinforce that the animal is approaching the forbidden zone and bluff the bears back into their proper place.

As you watch the bears from day to day, you begin to notice individuals and how they react to the group experience at the river. Normally these bears live solitary lives and don’t easily tolerate other bears. However during the salmon runs, all the personal space rules cease to apply, and even the crankiest of the old guys are willing to tolerate other bears in the area, up to a point. There are still plenty of opportunities to watch these enormous carnivores fighting for space, for fish and for dominance in the pecking order, and nearly all of them have the scars to show for it. Fights to the death are very rare, but big flaps of skin torn loose, missing ears and eyes, and other signs of past battles are everywhere.

You soon learn to recognize individuals, and watch how they deal with their colleagues as they all try to pack in as many salmon as they can in as short a time possible. You’ll watch sub-adults try out some laughably ineffective fishing techniques as they learn to fend for themselves, see dominant boars saunter out to the best fishing holes as lesser bears scurry away, watch a clever female sidle up to boars and ease fresh salmon from between their paws, and all the rest of the daily soap opera that constitutes life at the McNeil River falls. It’s endlessly fascinating — before you know it, 8 hours will have come and gone. Like most great experiences in Alaska, the going may be rough, but you’ll always be glad you came.

How to go The refuge is on the Alaska Peninsula, about 250 miles southwest of Anchorage. Access is by float plane, and the outfits flying from Homer charge about $700 per person for round-trip flights. You’re limited to a person and gear weight per seat, typically 250 pounds. This means if you weigh 200 pounds on the hoof, you can bring 50 pounds of gear. If you tip the scales at over 250, you’re going to have to purchase an additional seat to allow for the weight, or fly with a skinny friend. Your permit is good for four days at the refuge, and most visitors fly in the day before their permit is valid, and leave the day after. Access is weather dependent- allow an extra day or two between your flight out and your flight home in case you get stuck.

Come prepared Weather on the Alaska Peninsula is notoriously fickle, and days of rain, wind and temperatures in the 50s or even 40s are not unheard of, nor are temps in the 70s with clear blue skies. You’ll need warm clothing, good rain gear, hip waders, gloves and a warm hat.

Staying over There are tent sites and a secure cook shack for storing food, preparing meals, drying wet clothing and socializing. Cookware and propane burners are supplied. Fresh water, available from a nearby stream, must be treated. Outhouses and a wood-fired sauna complete the list of facilities. There’s no phone service, and no electricity for recharging batteries. Emergency communication is possible using camp resources, but if contact with the outside world is essential for you, you’ll need to bring your own satellite phone.

More info To apply, visit adfg.alaska.gov. Learn more about the refuge at mcneilbears.org.