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You fumble a field goal snap in the playoffs, and that’s all anyone remembers.
You go to Cabo with Jessica Simpson once, and you might as well have well asked Jerry Jones to get a football signed for you by a Cowboys cheerleader in the fourth quarter. You throw five interceptions in one game, and they want to run you out of town. Your crime: You are not Troy Aikman.
And no one wants to hear that very few are, that Aikman won three Super Bowls, that Aikman got to throw to Michael Irvin and hand off to Emmitt Smith and play for Jimmy Johnson on his way to Canton.
No, you throw to a knucklehead like Dez Bryant and play for a brainiac like Jason Garrett, whose record is 15-14 following another game, last week against the Ravens, when his clock management skills may have cost the Cowboys a win. When you play quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, until you win a Super Bowl, or at least win more than one playoff game, you better have the skin of a 10-gallon armadillo, because the eyes of Texas — and the Dallas Morning News — are upon you, all the live long day:
“Hall of Famer Rod Woodson: Tony Romo has a decent arm, I just think he makes bad reads.”
Morning News columnist Kevin Sherrington: Problem with Tony Romo is “he has the capability of being really good or really bad.”
Columnist Tim Cowlishaw: Why benching Tony Romo would be “cruel to all parties concerned.”
Cowboys beat writer Brandon George: Terrible stretch is no reason to “knee-jerk” and bench Tony Romo.
With apologies to Alex Rodriguez, Romo is America’s Lightning Rod. The Cowboys are 2-3 and face a must-win game in Carolina today before next Sunday’s must-win “butt kicking” of the Giants inside the House That Jerry Built.
You think Peyton Manning had a monkey on his back before he won his Super Bowl? If Rex Grossman can take a team to the Super Bowl, why can’t Romo? Is he a compiler of yards and touchdown passes the way A-Rod has been a compiler of home runs before and after he won his championship in 2009? Is something missing? Is Romo, a golfing fanatic, the football Greg “The Great White Shark” Norman in crunch time?
Aikman, NFL on FOX Super Bowl quarterback, lives in Dallas. He is not ready to get off the stomach-churning Romo roller-coaster, and volunteers he is no Romo apologist.
“He’s been a pretty polarizing figure, not only in Dallas, but also around the league,” Aikman said by phone. “Whenever they lose, it’s Tony’s fault.”
Because the Cowboys haven’t won anything since 1995, because Romo can make playing the position look so easy … then throw a short completion over the middle with two receivers streaking downfield far away from the huddle, instead of throwing it away, stopping the clock, and living another day at the end of the Ravens debacle.
“He’s accurate with the football,” Aikman said. “He’s smart. He loves the game. He loves to compete. He can create plays. It’s important to him. There’s not a whole lot not to like. This organization was going nowhere until Tony Romo took over at quarterback.”
And still is going nowhere. Is Garrett the offensive Wade Phillips, better served as a coordinator than head coach? Will Jones ever hire a general manager? Why was the owner trumpeting this week that this team was evolving into a championship contender?
“I’m not surprised by it because that’s Jerry,” Aikman said. “Jerry’s a glass-half-filled guy. Some people call it bravado. That’s just the way he’s wired.”
Aikman
said he doesn’t believe the owner puts undue pressure on his players.
“When you sign on the dotted line for the Dallas Cowboys,” he said, “you recognize these are the expectations.”
Jason Witten sure does.
“Did the [2011] New York Giants stink at 7-7?” he asked.
In the meantime, Romo and the Cowboys stink at 2-3, and find themselves at a crossroads.
“I wouldn’t count anybody out,” Aikman said. “I think they’re good enough. Everyone’s skeptical because they haven’t done it yet.”
Aikman said he thinks the Cowboys match up well with the Giants. He concedes the Giants have run the ball better of late but …
“What hurt the Giants in Week 1 was the Cowboys were able to completely shut down the Giants running game with seven guys,” Aikman said. “There was nowhere to throw the football. They couldn’t play coverage last year the way they can this year.”
Romo is 32. The first day of the rest of his NFL life begins today. Is he the long-term answer for the Cowboys?
“I think he is,” Aikman said. “I think he’s an exceptional player, I really do. If you didn’t have Tony Romo, I don’t know who you’d have.”
steve.serby@nypost.com