Here’s one for ya: Who is the smartest, active pro athlete in the world?
(Clue: He comes from a sport rarely associated with the genius of its participants.)
Answer (says me): Heavyweight champ Wladimir Klitschko.
And an odd thing happened to the 6-foot-6 Ukrainian last week in Hamburg, where he successfully defended four of his alphabet organization titles, against Poland’s previously undefeated, 6-foot-7 Mariusz Wach: Klitschko got hit — and hard — a right hook.
But Klitschko soon got over it and won a lopsided decision against his first opponent who was taller than he.
Klitschko doesn’t get hit much. That’s one big reason he gets little credit as a heavyweight champ. He doesn’t fight like a heavyweight champ. In fact, during fights, he barely fights at all. That’s because he doesn’t have to, thus doesn’t choose to. He’s too smart for that.
At a muscular 6-foot-6, he keeps his opponents at a safe distance, throws a dozen or so punches, connects with three or four. His opponents are unable to throw many punches worth throwing, thus, if they hit Klitschko once or twice — even a glancing blow off a shoulder — that’s big, in a very small way.
And Klitschko “fights” such fights once, twice, maybe three times a year, and each time pockets a million bucks or so for his time.
All this makes for dreary boxing, plus sustained disregard and mockery for Klitschko among boxing fans who have witnessed better fights at knock-rummy games. Klitschko, now 59-3 — his three losses came when he foolishly chose to fight during the fight — never, ever will be considered among the great heavyweight boxing champs.
But therein lies Klitschko’s greatness — his brilliant approach.
After all, how would you choose to be heavyweight champion? Slug it out, have your head bloodied and broken in exchange for wearing a crown atop your brain-damaged head?
Or, if you could, would you choose to do it Klitschko’s way — push the guy away, throw a few punches, land one or two, push the guy away some more, then call it a night.
Forbes estimates he has netted about $30 million. Though that may not be a lot for the heavyweight champ of the world — and he has been at least one organization’s champ since 2004 — it’s plenty, considering that few would pay big money to watch him fight — or avoid fighting — live or on pay-per-view TV.
That’s why his four-titles defense last week in Germany hardly made a sound here.
But best of all for him is that, at 36, his senses are intact to enjoy every penny he has made.
If he were worth $300 million, yet were suffering from the usual boxing afflictions — early stage dementia identified by slurred speech, vacant stares, glossed eyes, headaches, a crooked management team and his signature on contracts to fight still more fights despite his inability to lick a postage stamp — well, again, Klitschko’s way ahead of his own game.
Klitschko may be the least-regarded longest-running heavyweight champ in boxing history. Yup, the man’s a genius.
Celebrate injuries? NFL has for years and years
The Nfl, as a sport, becomes more insufferable by the week.
Last Sunday, Bills RB Fred Jackson was knocked out of the game with a concussion. The fellow who laid him down and out, Patriots LB Brandon Spikes, did a self-celebratory muscle-flex and appeared to be trash-yakking at Jackson after the play.
Several Bills were angered by Spikes’ behavior, including RB Tashard Choice: “I don’t like to see nobody get hurt, and then, on top of that make fun of him while he’s on the ground.”
Er, excuse me, Mr. Choice, but where ya been? NFL players have been similarly celebrating themselves after brutal hits for the last 25-30 years. Victims be damned. It’s now part of our sports “culture,” especially as promoted and encouraged by TV.
That players rarely, if ever, recognize the potential insanity and infamy in such immodest behavior — how about a linebacker being stuck with the video of his muscle-man pose after paralyzing a player? — has stood in defiance of common sense and common decency for those same 25-30 years.
In Charlotte on Sunday, Denver’s Trindon Holliday returned a punt 76 yards for a TD, stylishly flipping the ball away as he crossed the goal line, eager to next perform an exaggerated me-dance.
One problem: Holliday flipped the ball a step early, and, by the NFL’s too-late admission, he technically fumbled. It then should have been ruled a touchback. The new, automatic replay failed to review whether he had the ball as he crossed the goal line.
Only by the failure of the replay rule was Holliday — not to mention his team — spared the ridicule and circumstances of his self-aggrandizing behavior.
Then Monday night, for a national TV audience, Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe prematurely celebrated a TD by slowing down at the 10-yard-line to hold out the ball, with one hand, to show those Steelers chasing him, then preening a foot or so into the lens of a TV camera after he entered the end zone.
At the time, it was raining — the field and ball were wet — and the Chiefs were 1-7. The TD was nullified by a holding call. The Chiefs, losers in OT, are now 1-8.
Melky not gone forever, Bud
Only in Bud Selig’s Land of Make Believe could Melky Cabrera, in 113 games, hit .346, helping the Giants make the postseason, from which they would win the World Series, yet MLB declare that Cabrera’s batting average, after he was busted for PEDs, doesn’t count.
Like Barbara Eden in “I Dream of Jeannie,” Selig is able to slap one arm over the other, nod his head and make Cabrera disappear. And now — presto chango! — he reappears in Toronto.
* The 6-3 Steelers, tonight on NBC, will play their fifth night game. In their first 10 games, they will have played just twice at 1 p.m.
* The Science Channel’s “How It’s Made” last week included a neat segment on how footballs are manufactured, then tested. Wonder why NFL pregame shows can’t include such segments as opposed to the usual patty-cake among panelists.
* From reader Jim Fitz: “What the heck is ‘incidental contact’? Is it pass interference or not?” Don’t know, Jim, but I once told my insurance agent that my car was involved in some incidental contact and I was penalized, just the same.