NFL

Better take care of business today, no ifs, ands or butts

After all the torment and torture the Jets have put their long-suffering fans through, I come today with some unsolicited advice for Rex Ryan and his crew:

Don’t dare lose to the Ryan Lindley Arizona Cardinals.

Don’t dare continue to cheat the diehards and masochists — we might as well call them Ireman Eds — who decide to show up at MetLife Stadium for reasons known only to them and maybe StubHub.

Rex Ryan versus Ryan Lindley.

The best defensive mind in football — just ask him — against a rookie sixth-round pick coming off a four-interception nightmare in his maiden NFL start against the Rams.

If Rex cannot be the Ryan King in this matchup, what would that say about his ability to motivate and lead?

If the players who profess their unabated love for him cannot make him the Ryan King, what would that say about them? What would that say about GM Mike Tannenbaum and the men who pick the players?

If the Jets can’t beat this quarterback, it might be a good idea for Ryan to start passing out the Viagra (smaller dosage recommended for Antonio Cromartie).

Woody Johnson is angry?

How about the poor fans who pay these obscene prices, who expected a playoff team, who had their Thanksgiving ruined then had to take a low blow from Bart Scott?

No ifs, ands … and please, no butts.

What can Mark Sanchez do for an encore, you ask? Hopefully nothing for the blooper reel.

Give your poor fans a day where it is the other quarterback who smashes facefirst into the rear end of one of his offensive linemen and drops as if clocked by the young Mike Tyson and fumbles away a touchdown. Young Lindley is eminently capable of that, to be sure.

Give your poor fans an early Christmas present. It’s the least you can do, after doing your least.

And remember, Jets vs. Cardinals would be a much easier game than Jets vs. Jets fans.

Because if Jets fans see Scott flailing 10 yards behind Larry Fitzgerald or Beanie Wells down the sidelines, he could retreat to the sidelines, hop atop Ryan’s shoulders and lead a “J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS” chant and be unmercifully booed anyway, and deserve it.

If Sanchez stumbles and fumbles some more, he will hear “We want Greg,” because “We want Tebow” wouldn’t make much sense on a day when Tim Tebow is inactive with his cracked ribs and Greg McElroy, lately the People’s Choice, is the backup.

Those of you who will want McElroy if and when Sanchez struggles shouldn’t hold your breath. Ryan is certain to give Sanchez these last five games to salvage his starting job in 2013. Five last games for Sanchez to change the mind of naysayers within the organization that he needs to be a backup next season. Five last games for Sanchez to convince owner Woody that he should be the quarterback to somehow lead the Jets into the first New York Super Bowl, and heaven help everyone if John Mara and Steve Tisch get there and he doesn’t.

Good luck with that, fellas, by the way. At least Sanchez won’t have to worry about having his rhythm disrupted by Tony Sparano sending Tebow in to run a Wildcat play that doesn’t work.

If Ryan’s pass rushers appear stuck in mud once again, not to mention his ill-fated Ground & Pound, what’s to keep some disgruntled Jets fan from dressing up as Garbageman Ted and climbing atop a neighbor’s shoulders and leading a chant of “J-U-N-K JUNK JUNK JUNK?”

Or perhaps offensive line coach Dave DeGuglielmo can leap atop Ryan’s shoulders high enough for Tannenbaum to notice and lead a chant of “V-L-A-D BAD BAD BAD.”

And who can blame any fan for showing up for the opening kickoff with a bag over his or her head anyway?

Or, if they really want to make a statement, with a Rich Kotite mask?

A fan revolt, for a revolting team.

Here’s a nightmare scenario certainly within the realm of Jets possibility: They lose the game because the backup personal punt protector doesn’t do his job.

The Cardinals only have lost seven straight games. Coach Ken Whisenhunt recently did something Ryan never has done — he threatened jobs. Then again, if you saw the Jets’ scrubs, you might understand why there is so much entitlement among some of the starters.

“We love Rex,” defensive end Mike DeVito said.

Of course they do. He’s Rex. Everybody loves Rex, including owner Woody. Rex will be back next season.

But will the fans?

steve.serby@nypost.com